Happiness or joy...

It's funny how things turn out in life sometimes.  We all have our day to day routines, we go to the same places... we talk to the same people - and then one day out of the blue you receive a text or phone call that has the possibility of changing your life. As you start talking, you discover that everyone has their own baggage (for lack of a better word), that they are carrying around. You realize that sometimes circumstances out of your control have the ability to change your life. You realize you have to learn how to be alone and content by yourself....no spouse, no kids - just you. As the weeks pass and you begin talking to that person - you realize we are all human beings who have made mistakes, who want to be loved unconditionally, and who want to be accepted for who they are. Those things seems so simple... yet, they are not.

As weeks have passed, and we have continually spent time together and talked - the discussion of happiness came up, and the comment was made, "I don't want just happiness in my every day life - I want joy."  How very true this is! As we talked about it for a few minutes, and then I continued to ponder - yes, I want to be happy, but ultimately - I want joy!  When you think about happiness it can be dependent on the circumstances that surround us.  True joy comes from within - it is not dependent on external factors or circumstances. True joy comes from things like faith in our Lord, and brings contentment.

Over the past 3 months, there have been a lot of changes in my life.  K finished up her freshman year of high school, C finished his junior year, and J took off on the adventure of a lifetime.  J has now settled in Montrose, CO and is working on a farm, and living his dream - he is taking in and learning as much as he can. It is truly an amazing gift to be able to watch my kids grow up, chase their dreams, find out who they are as individuals and grow into the adults they are becoming. All they want out of life is to be loved and happy. But, when I think about what I want for my kids, what I want for myself, and what I want for my loved ones - I want them to have JOY! So, as the days, weeks, and months pass  - my prayer is for my loved ones to find JOY! 

"May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13

Unconditional love...

This morning, after I was finished with my quiet time and I was online looking around - I read the following, and it really hit home...

"Unconditional love stays steady despite the circumstances. It believes the best and sees the loved one for who that person can be, rather than who that person is right now. Much of the time, love is undeserved.  That's what makes God's love for us a perfect love. Let's stop trying to "be perfect" and instead embrace "being perfected," as we learn to love more like Jesus each and every day." 

There are very few things in the life that everyone wants, but...I do believe that everyone wants unconditional love.  Your kids want to know that you love them forever and always - regardless of any mistakes they make. Even as an adult, you want to know that your parents will always love you - regardless of poor choices you may make.  You always have friends, that whether you agree with their opinions or actions - you will always support them.  You know that you love them, and you are choosing to support them - regardless of whether you agree.  That is what friends do!  We are not perfect - and we will never be perfect.  Why is this so hard to remember sometimes?

Life is hard!  We are imperfect beings. We all want love and acceptance, but yet at times... something so simple can seem so difficult. We can be harder on ourselves than anyone else will ever be (I know I am), we can be judgmental, and we can be harsh on others.  Sometimes we need to step back, look at the circumstances, and know that people believe in us - even when we don't believe in ourselves. We need to remember we are not perfect, and are being perfected every day!  Unconditional love is knowing all of the persons faults and shortcomings, and loving the person anyway!

So... as we all go through daily struggles, remember -  " Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of then, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6. 

Some things never change...

Yesterday was a long day!  It was a day of travel, cramped airplanes, and a lot of hurrying up to wait. But... last night when I got to dad's house - it was perfect!  I walked in the door, and got the biggest hug EVER from J, JD, and from my dad!  Every long minute of the day was worth it! I took time to visit, and then I went to bed - I was exhausted.

This morning I got up early...6:30am.  I came down the stairs and started looking around.  I sat down and went through photo albums dad had saved through the years... looking at photos of his life, and all of the memories he has made. He has every photo we have sent him over the years of the kids, he has paintings the kids have made him hanging on the walls, and he has cross stitch patterns that I made when I was little still proudly displayed in his kitchen.

There is something about this house... so much has changed over the years but, when I walk into this house it is always the same. This house IS my dad and all things that are him! 

April 30...

April 30 is a day I will never forget. Not only did I become a mother for the first time, I became an aunt.  My heart was full, and my life was changed forever!

Tomorrow is J's 22nd birthday... it will also be the first birthday in his 22 years that he is not here.  I will not get to sing happy birthday in the morning, I will not get to have a birthday dinner, and I will not get to hug his sweet neck and tell him I love him.  But...while I am here, he is out living life to the fullest and this makes my heart happy!   I could not be more proud of the loving man, brother, cousin, grandson and son he has become.  His free spirit is something I admire, and his love for others is contagious.  He is getting to wake up on his 22nd birthday living out his dreams!

Not only is tomorrow J's birthday, it is also my nephew B's birthday. I could not imagine not having this sweet boy in my life - I love him like he is one of my own. J & B have been partners in crime for their whole lives,and not only are they cousins... they are friends!   B is living out his own dream of a music career, and I can assure you I will be there cheering him on every step of the way, and will always be his #1 fan.

These boys not only changed my life, they have changed the lives of others while proudly displaying their love for their family, friends and God.  Happy Birthday to you both!!

And his adventure begins...

For anyone who knows my kids... they are all three completely different!  I have a free spirit, a happy go lucky one, and a princess.  AND... I would not change any of them for anything!  About 6 months ago, J began talking about his dreams and what he wanted to do. It was a very simple dream... he wanted to travel and see the country.  As a parent, I thought - perfect, go ahead, get on a plane and explore.  Well... that is not exactly what happened.  On April 10, after one last family photo (we all know how I love pictures) -  J pulled out of the driveway in his truck for the adventure of a lifetime.  He was on his way to meet a friend in Telluride, and backpack/hike the western United States. 

 

As he got in the truck that morning, he turned around one last time and said "I love you mom" - and he was off.  I stopped myself all morning from calling and checking on him, I knew he would be fine on his own, but it was REALLY hard to let him go.  He called a few hours into the drive just to let me know it was going good and he was well on his way.  He called again when he reached Topeka, KS that night to let me know his plan and where he was going to stay so I would not worry. Then, he called one last time that night to let me know the adventure had started.  He pulled into a hotel for the night in Salina, KS - after checking in and getting settled in his room, he opened the door to go back to his truck.  He did not expect what he saw next - a body bag (yes... a dead person) being removed from the room next to him.   I got a phone call shortly after and he said, "mom.... can you just talk for a minute?"  We talked for about 30 minutes, and I was completely thrilled that for just a minute - he still needed his mom.   

On Tuesday, April 14 - I received a photo letting me know he was in Colorado and all was good. Telluride is on the other side of this valley.

On Saturday, April 18, he let me know he had been in the desert in Moab, UT for four days and he was on to the Arches National Park.  It has now been two weeks, and I sure am missing that kid.  But... I am so happy and excited that he is making memories that will last a lifetime!

Roots and wings...

The older my kids get, the more I refer back to this quote as a parent:

"There are two gifts we should give our children: one is ROOTS, the other is WINGS"

This seems like such a simple concept, except... it's not!  I look at my kids, and I am so proud of each one of them.  They are each different, unique, and special in their own way.  I have tried very hard to always accept them for what they are, and encourage them to follow their dreams.  My oldest son is a free spirit in every sense of the word.  He has a great passion for life, and lives every day and minute to the fullest.  I look at him, and admire everything he has figured out in life at such a young age.  He is truly an inspiration to me, and makes me realize that life is too short not to be happy and follow your dreams.   He is a friend to everyone he meets, and would give you the shirt off his back. He is an amazing son, grandson, cousin, nephew and big brother.

In the next 3 weeks, he will begin the adventure of a lifetime.  I am so excited for him and wish him all the happiness in the world. So...as he is preparing for his journey, I am preparing as well.  I know he has roots....now, he is spreading his wings. 

Advice from Mr. Rogers...

When I was little, I would watch Mr. Rogers Neighborhood - it truly was one of the best children's shows of all times.  I wish Mr. Rogers had been around when my kids were little.  Last night, a friend of mine posted a quote on Facebook from Mr. Rogers and I got to thinking...how many mistakes could be avoided in life, or how many bad decisions could have turned into good ones IF we had taken the advice of Mr. Rogers.  So... here are several things he taught us when we were little, that hold just as much (if not more) value today.

• Love and accept others for who they are. "Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." ~ Fred Rogers
• Listen with our ears and our hearts. "In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” ~ Fred Rogers
• Forgive always. “Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life's important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.”  ~ Fred Rogers
• Build caring relationships. “Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”~ Fred Rogers
• Work out your differences and respect others views. “It's very dramatic when two people come together to work something out. It's easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.”  ~ Fred Rogers
• Be kind to others. “There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” ~ Fred Rogers
• Always do your best. “Some days, doing "the best we can" may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn't perfect on any front-and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else.”  ~ Fred Rogers
• Always be yourself. “As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has- or ever will have- something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.”  ~ Fred Rogers

Happy Sunday y'all!