There are always times in your life that you will never forget. It may be your wedding day, the day your children were born, the death of a loved one, or it could be the day you fell in love. For me, I have several dates that I will never forget. The day I got married, the day I got divorced. The day my children were born. The day I realized I could fall in love again, and be happy. There are all kinds of days I remember, but... for me the 24 hour time period that I have relived over and over in my mind is September 16, 2015.
This day started just like any other day. I got up, went to work, and met my "bonus kid" for dinner. I was there the day she was born, had watched her grow up into a beautiful young woman, and after she had some struggles - she moved in with me and the kids. For anyone out there who knows me, I have had various kids over the years live with us. I provide a roof over their head, some ground rules,I love them, they have a chance to get on their feet, and then... they move on. These are the kids that forever live in my heart. But this time... it ended a little different. The sweet little girl that I had watched grow up was a mess (and I'm not being ugly or mean in any way). She was depressed, had anxiety, and just simply needed some love. For months, I watched her work her way through school, and strive to do the right thing. Then... it seems like in the blink of an eye - everything changed. On the night of September 16, 2016, after I got off work, I met her for dinner. We went to Chili's and had dinner. She got ready to go meet friends, I hugged her, told her I loved her, and she left. I went home, and started my normal routine. K got home later that night after church, and went straight to bed. I went to bed around 9:30pm, and when I woke up, my life changed forever.
I woke up at 12:48am to my phone ringing. Now in my house - if my phone rings after 10pm, I assume someone is really hurt, in trouble, or dead. I woke up, answered the phone, and A asked me if she was home. I said, "I'm not sure, let me go look and I will call you back." As I got out of bed, I heard my doorbell ringing. When I rounded the corner from my kitchen to my den, my heart sank. I immediately ran back to my room, and called 911. She was laying on the couch having seizures, and had a mouth full of pills. I had no idea what they were, but I leaned over her and started pulling pills out of her mouth. As I did this, she was kicking & hitting me (and I am forever thankful she does not remember this). The Gallatin Police were the first ones to my house, then the ambulance, then more police - it was complete chaos. As they loaded her into the ambulance, my heart was broken, and I was scared to death. When we got to the ER, they told me if I had been 30 minutes later - it would have been too late. What had happened to make this sweet girl attempt to take her life? What did I miss? Did I not love her and care for her enough? The days and weeks to follow were a blur. The hours, and then days we were in CCU seemed endless. Then we moved her to a treatment facility - which was almost unbearable. Her friend C, was an angel and a complete life saver for me. When she finally came home, we knew we had a long road ahead. We got through October, but then November came. It was a TOUGH month (to put it mildly). I had always heard about "tough love", but I had never really had to put it in motion until that time. She moved out of the house, and life went on. Although, I have not spoken to her since November - there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her, that I don't pray for her, and that I don't miss her.
Now... let's back up for just a bit. Before any of the craziness happened - in August, my kids and I found what is now our church home. I can remember in August thinking, "it's time to get back on board, and get your life straight with God." What I didn't know is he was getting ready to give me one of my biggest tests of all times. In the weeks that followed, I remember distinctly sitting in church on Sunday mornings, listening to Pastor T, and thinking.. "wow, he is speaking directly to me." As I now look back, over the hours, days, and months - I can see God's hand in every bit of it. I am so thankful that He gave me the strength to get through everything, because I know I certainly did NOT do it on my own. I say all of this, not to make anyone sad, but to let everyone know - that you never know what is going on with someone. You never know the struggles and the demons they are facing. So be kind to everyone you meet, stop and say a prayer for your loved ones, hug them tight!
So many times we live our life wondering "what if." What if we don't live out our dreams? What if we don't check those boxes on our bucket list? What if we don't tell our loved ones how much they mean to us? We always have tomorrow...right?? WRONG! We are never guaranteed tomorrow, and it is never promised. We waste so much time not focusing on the things that are important. Then... we have regret! Regret is no fun, and it sucks the life out of you. And honestly... who wants to look back on your life, and have a whole lot of "what if's?"
We get to determine what we do in life, we make our own decisions. No one is responsible for our actions except for us. Tonight, I was scrolling through Facebook and saw where one of my friends had posted a video about "What is your biggest regret?" As I watched the video, it gave me chills. We can make all the mistakes in the world, and have all the regrets possible today, but tomorrow morning - we have a clean slate. Those things are wiped away.
We also serve an awesome God, who forgives us and gives us a clean slate and what an awesome God is He!! 1 John 1:9 says, "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from wickedness." When we admit our sins, we agree with with God that our sin is a sin, and we are willing to turn away from it. Once we repent, we have a clean slate!
So... take a minute, think about your biggest regrets and then wipe them away! Jump out of a plane... tell someone you love them...set your goals to improve YOU! This is a new year with new beginnings, and the sky is the limit. We are never guaranteed tomorrow, so live this life with NO REGRET!!
This morning I am sitting at home looking at the snow falling, and simply thinking about my life. As crazy as my life can be at times, I would not trade it for anything. Here are just a few reasons that I am thankful every day!
I LOVE MY JOB! I may work crazy hours three weeks out of the month, but this week I was reminded once again why I do what I do. I love helping franchise owners, watching them learn, and I truly get back more than I could ever give. They are a special group of people who take risks every day, and help people in their time of need.
I LOVE MY KIDS! I have three kids who I love more than life. They may drive me crazy, they have smart mouths at times, and they think they are funny even when they are not, but I love every minute. I love the loud boys and the giggling girls.
I LOVE MY FRIENDS! I have very few close friends and i wouldn't have it any other way. I know I can always depend on them, and they are always there. If I need to laugh, need to cry, or simply need a dose of reality... they are there!
It has definitely not been the shortest or easiest road to get to where I am, but I know it is all in God's timing and wouldn't change a thing. So... as I am sitting here, enjoying my snow day with my sweet girl. I am very thankful!!
With each new year, there come new resolutions...new hopes, dreams, and the possibility of change. How often do we give up on the resolutions before we ever start? When I look around my home today there are so many opportunities for change. My kids are facing a new year with new challenges. My dad is here visiting and has ongoing health issues. Heck... I know I certainly have issues of my own and that there are things in my life that I definitely need to change. I know life will never be perfect, but...I know I can always work on improving my life and providing a better life for me and my kids. We cannot control every part of our lives, but we can seek God's advice on how Christians should act, and what we should do. Maybe... just maybe...if we seek His will first, things will fall into place - just as they should be.
There are many resolutions I could come up with... lose weight (I always need to do that), keep my house clean (I have lots of teenagers all the time, so why bother?), or be more active (my activity consists of shuttling 15 year olds from place to place). Instead of torturing myself with never accomplishing that size 4 body from 20 years ago... I have decided to choose a passage from Colossians and work on it all year long. In Colossians 3: 12 - 15 it says, "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live peace. And always be thankful. "
What kind of world would we live in if we all focused on tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness,and love? How much richer would we be at the end of the year if we had more of these? What if we took the time to realize just how blessed we are? So...in 2016, I will focus on living and focusing on Colossians 3: 12-15, and counting my blessings. We will fill up our "blessing jar", and on December 31, 2016 will look back and realize just how blessed we are!
Over the holidays, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on this year and looking forward to next year. On one hand, 2015 has been a year of heartache and sadness and on the other hand, it has been one of great joy. I have watched my kids grow into amazing adults, spread their wings, and chase their dreams. I have watched them prepare for the next chapter in their lives, and I have watched them struggle to make decisions and find their way. This has been a year full of not understanding why things happens, learning from mistakes, and realizing that sometimes tough love is needed.
The most life changing event happened on September 17 when we had a suicide attempt take place in our home. The night and days following are some I will never forget. I have constantly looked back over the last several months and tried to figure out what I missed. How could I not see what she was thinking, feeling, and planning. I know that I could have never prevented what happened, but... there will always be the what if questions. As I relive many of these events over and over in my head, I know I cannot live in the past. I know I cannot change the events of that night, and I am extremely thankful for the phone call and the door bell ringing that night. The phone call and door bell ringing, saved someone's life. As difficult as those days were, I can truly look back and see where God's hand was in all of the craziness.
Isaiah 43:18 says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." A new year brings new opportunities and new adventures. We all need to remember that God has a plan for our life, and those plans are not in the past - they are in the future. So often, we tend to pray but forget to wait for the answer. Or... we get the answer and do not like it, so we try to live without God's will being followed. We do not need to dwell on the past, but look forward. More importantly as I move into 2016, I need to remember the end prize, and that is eternal life with God our Savior. I should be striving daily to live my life in a way that brings glory to Him.
So, as 2016 approaches hug your loved ones, tell them you love them, live life to the fullest, and LIVE every single day! Try to be a better mother, daughter,sister, brother or whatever you may be. Forgive quickly and laugh often! And more than anything... find happiness within you!
13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ~ Philippians 3: 13-14 (NLT)
It seems like every year Christmas comes quicker and quicker - the days and months go by so much faster it seems. I'm not sure why it seems to happen, but I find myself wishing that time would really slow down. All throughout the year, and especially as the holidays approach - we are all busy! So busy in fact, that we forget to slow down and enjoy the little things in life. We forget to spend time with and appreciate our families. We forget to slow down and enjoy the little things in life. We don't mean to... it just happens. We all get so wrapped up in trying to make a living that sometimes we forget to live our life.
There are so many things that I love about the holiday season, but family traditions are my favorite. For anyone who knows me... they know that I am BIG on traditions. I LOVE tradition. I love making the same pies every year, I love making Christmas cookies with my sweet daughter and nieces, I love going to Starbucks and having a sing-a-long on the way to look at Christmas lights, the Christmas parade, dinner at my parents, and one of my all time favorite... the candlelight Christmas Eve service at church where we remember the reason for the season.
There are so many things about this season that I love! This year, I would encourage everyone to slow down, and spend time with your loved ones, hug them tight, and tell them you love them - every minute counts! Live in the moment, and enjoy every minute! Most importantly... remember the reason for the season, and be sure to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6
The holiday season is upon us! Thanksgiving will be here in less than a week, Christmas will be here in about a month - and i'm sitting here wondering where the time has gone, and how the year has flown by. This has been a crazy year with lots of adventures, craziness, love, and laughter - and, honestly... I wouldn't change a thing! There are so many things and people in my life that I am thankful for. So... here are just a few:
I am thankful for a BIG God who is always there and whose love is unfailing.
I am thankful for my three amazing kids, who I cannot imagine doing life without.
I am thankful for my parents, and being raised in a loving Christian home.
I am thankful for my crazy nieces and nephews who I love like they are my own.
I am thankful for my brother and sister (and their spouses), and their unconditional love (even when they don't agree).
I am thankful that I have amazing friends, who make my life full of laughter (even more thankful that they are low maintenance).
I am thankful that I have a job that I love, and am able to take pride in the organization I work for.
I know that I am truly blessed! We really should tell our loved ones each day that we appreciate and are thankful for them, but somehow - life gets in the way, and we get busy. So.. this holiday season, be sure to share your blessings, give an unsuspecting soul a big 'ole hug, show random acts of kindness - you never know when you are making a huge difference in someone's life!
There are always times in your life that you will never forget. It may be your wedding day, the day your children were born, the death of a loved one, or it could be the day you fell in love. For me, I have several dates that I will never forget. The day I got married, the day I got divorced. The day my children were born. The day I realized I could fall in love again, and be happy. There are all kinds of days I remember, but... for me the 24 hour time period that I have relived over and over in my mind is September 16, 2015. 
