An empty nest (almost)...

28 sleeps.  This is the way we count down when big and important events happen in our home...we count the number of sleeps.  As many sleeps as we have counted down over the years, this may be one of the biggest ones yet.  This is the number of sleeps until we move the princess (and the baby) to college for her to start the next chapter of her life.  I feel like I have blinked, and here we are 18 short years later.  The baby of the family has grown up and there is not a thing I can do about it!

She is our princess, and if you know her - you KNOW that she IS the princess!  I will tell you though, she is the sweetest princess I know!  After having two boys, when I was told I was having a girl I did not believe the doctor.  Then... here she was.  My little curly headed, 7 lb. 9 oz. baby girl.  Y'all... I had NO idea what to do with a girl.  She has been full of sass and sweetness since day one and has had her brothers wrapped around her little finger since the beginning. She is so many things to me... my road trip partner, sous chef, dance partner in the kitchen, duet partner,  steering wheel dancing partner and most importantly... my prayer warrior!

As I have watched her spread her wings, she has never ceased to amaze me.  She works hard, sets goals AND achieves just about every one of them. If she is having a bad day, I come home to find devotion books and Bibles.  This is her way of receiving comfort that no one else can provide. She loves her God, and is not afraid to tell anyone.  She is kind, loyal and loves BIG! Oh and... she is one of the funniest people I know!! God knew exactly what we needed when He gave her to us!

As I soak in the next 28 sleeps...I try to remember that our family dynamic is changing once again.  And then... I remember that she is going to do AMAZING things!

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

~Proverbs 22:6~

I still believe in fairy tales...

I'm going to start out by simply throwing this out there...dating in your 40's sucks!! Yes, I said it...dating sucks - it is not fun, it is not glamorous!  It is painful, heartbreaking, and just down right exhausting. It can also be very rewarding, and if you're lucky you may find that fairy tales do still exist.  You know...the "happily ever afters." But, let me tell you about just a few of the life lessons I have learned along the way...

1. Don't be afraid of being alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone, and learning how to be completely happy and content by yourself. If one relationship ends, don't automatically jump into the next one.  Give yourself time to heal. And, let's face it - if your relationship ended badly you probably just invoke some unnecessary pain on some poor, undeserving soul. 

2. Don't settle. As you date, you are going to meet people along the way and you will be tempted to jump into a relationship with (even if your heart isn't in it), just so you don't wind up being alone (see #1). Always remember, you should not settle for anything less than you deserve.  No one is going to be perfect, but wait until you find the one that is perfect for you. 

3. Social media can make you crazy. In a world where you can follow, friend, and Snap 24 hours a day - you can also make yourself crazy trying to keep up with previous people you have dated on social media.  My recommendation - delete, unfriend, block...whatever it takes.  Don't be the person who is stalking your ex seeing what is going on in their life (seriously, we have all done it or we have friends that do it for us).  Remember, on the book of face - everyone always has a perfect relationship. Your life is amazing, and perfect (just as it should be)...love it the way it is! 

4. Compromise (in the right places). Compromise is a huge thing in your 40's, because honestly... if you have been single as long as I have been - you are set in your ways.  Remember to compromise -  relationships are about give and take.  BUT... do NOT compromise your morals and values.  Stay true to yourself always!!

5. Be patient and kind. Patience is something that does not always come easy.  Don't be quick in jumping to conclusions, and assuming the worst. Be patient...listen to the other person. You have no idea how another person has been hurt, and what their past brings. Regardless of what is said and done...be kind always - kindness goes a long way!!

6. Don't be afraid to take a leap of faith. If you happen to find someone who makes you laugh, who you can talk to for hours, who is willing to put up with your quirkiness, and supports your craziness - take the leap!  Take a chance! Don't be afraid just because they may not be what you had imagined. Trust that person until they give you a reason not to.  Remember - they are not your past, but they may be your present and if you are really blessed - they may even be your future. 

But, the most important life lesson, I can give you... always make sure you have a Christ centered relationship. Go to church (even when you want to sleep in), pray for each other and WITH each other.  If you are both focusing on your relationship with God, you will grow closer to each other. 

These are just a few of the life lessons I have learned along the way and I hope they may help someone else and possibly make the journey a little easier while searching for your "happily ever after."

Happy dating y'all!!

The middle child...

This morning I am sitting outside on my patio, drinking coffee and thinking about my middle child for many reasons.  At this time 20 years ago, I was on bed rest patiently (or impatiently) waiting on this baby to make their grand entrance into the world.  Little did I know that less that 24 hours later, and 2 1/2 weeks early - he would completely change my life and the way I viewed it.  From the very beginning, he stole everyone's heart.  He was the cutest little thing (and, I know every parent says that, but seriously - he was), had the longest eyelashes, and he did really nothing but smile!  In my eyes... he was perfect!

As we moved into the pre-school years, it was a challenge.  I enrolled C and K into Mother's Day Out at church for two days a week.  K (as the youngest) thrived in the classroom and loved every minute.  C, on the other hand... hated it!! He cried every morning, until I finally decided not to make him go back and we had 2 days each week that were mommy and C days.  Now, I'm not saying that was my finest decision ever because I paid for this decision when he went to kindergarten.  For the first month of kindergarten, I would walk in the school with a precious little boy attached to my leg (literally) and crying when I tried to leave, while sweet Ms. Parker peeled him off and made him love school. And I can tell you... Ms. Parker was a saint and a blessing from God in kindergarten - she was (and still is) my hero!

We made it through elementary school, and as we moved into middle school and got to high school -  I knew we were in for a change. I watched this little boy grow up right before my eyes.  I watched him start marching to the beat of his own drummer, becoming this laid back child that nothing could rattle.  He did his own thing, and honestly never cared if anyone liked him or not.  He loved his friends and family fiercely (and still does), and entertained us all with his sense of humor.  Every teacher and administration person at the schools loved him (and I'm not exaggerating)!  When he graduated...that is when things got real.

After graduation, C enlisted in the Army and life as we knew it and our whole family dynamic changed.  Not only had he chosen to serve our country, we were choosing to support him unconditionally.  This meant that we would no longer be together for birthdays and holidays.  It meant that his first duty station was over 3.000 miles from home.  It meant that holidays were no longer dictated by a calendar, but by when we were all together.   Over the last 18 months while he has been in the Army, I have watched him turn into a confident, full of life young man. 

Tomorrow, my sweet middle child will be 20!  And, I look back at his life and how it has flown by.  I could not be more proud of what he has accomplished and what he has sacrificed. My little curly headed boy that I have loved his entire life has become my HERO!  Happy 20th Birthday C... I can't wait to see what you accomplish in the next 20 years.

Being present...

The past week has been a crazy busy week, and I have felt every emotion possible.  It started on Mother's Day with a phone call that we lost a close family friend. This was graduation week for my baby girl, and as you can imagine - we had a million things going on.  Then, I had a "mommy moment" (I refuse to say meltdown) - when it hit me that our soldier would be missing his little sister's graduation.  I was an emotional mess! As the week progressed, we got through one event at a time. After stressing over the weather all week (which I know I can't control), Saturday was here and it was time for the princess' graduation party. And...I wanted everything to be perfect!

After a small army of family and friends (who I cannot thank enough) helped me finish decorating and getting everything ready - I had time to breathe (just for a minute) before more friends and family started arriving to celebrate my girl! Now, anyone who knows me KNOWS that I tend to take way too many photos and document way too much! In my defense...I want to remember every moment and capture everything so we can look back one day. But, sometimes in the midst of doing that - I tend to forget to enjoy the moment and truly be present because I end up stressing about capturing the moment. It can be complete craziness!  On Saturday however, I did not take one picture during her graduation party.  I talked and laughed with family and friends, I watched my sweet girl soak up every minute and love on the people that mean the most to her. I watched our loved ones love on her and I watched her LAUGH and act silly with her friends!  I was actually PRESENT...enjoying every minute of it!  And y'all... when we got finished we realized out of all the pictures that other people took - we did not have one photo of us together and of our family.  No, we don't have a picture to document that we were together celebrating, but we do have memories of that perfect afternoon!

Road trip!!

Since my kids were little, we have always been about a good road trip.  Some of my favorite memories were unplanned, spontaneous trips where I would put three kids in the car.  We didn't necessarily have a destination, and we all know I didn't have a plan.  We would just hop in the car and head towards somewhere. It might be that we headed to the Outer Banks of North Carolina, and would stop to visit friends along the way or it may have been that we just went somewhere close by. But regardless...we laughed a lot, had fun, and made a lot of memories along the way! 

My kids have taken many road trips as they have gotten older.  J has road tripped across the northwestern U.S., C has taken trips in Alaska, and the princess and I - well... let's just say we have had many since she has been the only child at home.  You want to go to IKEA?  Okay... are we going to Atlanta or Memphis?  You want to go to the beach for 48 hours?  Sure... throw some stuff in a backpack and let's go! Oh and are any friends going with us? You know... the more the merrier!  Needless to say, these types of things drive my mom crazy!  Why on earth would I spontaneously throw kids in a car and drive?? Well...why not??

About a month ago, I had to have surgery on my foot (kind of unexpectedly) and had to be in Columbus, OH 2 weeks later for work.  No... the doctor didn't want me to fly and he really didn't want me to drive.  If I were to drive, I would have to stop every 45 minutes and walk for 15!!  Now... that turns a 6 hour drive into a lot longer!  As I was telling my mom what the doctor said, she just sat and listened.  After about 2 hours I received a text, it simply said, "I have cleared all of my activities.  I'm ready for a road trip!"  Y'all... my mouth hit the floor, this was on Sunday before I was leaving on Tuesday and my mom is a planner with a capital P!! But... she made it happen - just for me! 

We got in the car on Tuesday morning, and the first things she said was, "I have a snack bag." Now...I officially felt like I was 10 again - but I was completely okay with it.  We started the drive to Columbus, my foot propped up on the dashboard, cranked the music up, and laughed the whole way!  Now...I can tell you if it had not been for the surgery this may have never happened.  But honestly... I'm so glad it did - I love my mom dearly, and I'm sure I don't tell her enough!  The other thing that really stood out to me was when we arrive at the hotel, mom started unpacking her stuff and the first thing she unpacked was her Bible. Now...I think that's pretty amazing.  I really think part of God's plan was to tell me to slow down, spend time with the ones you love, and make some memories.

I say all of this to encourage everyone to stop and spend time with your loved ones.  You don't ever know when God will decide to call them home.  Take silly pictures and make memories! And most of all, as Mother's Day is approaching... if you are lucky enough to still have your mom with you - then let her know how much she is loved!

Let me tell you about my best friend...

Today is a special day...today is my best friend's birthday!  When I think about her, so many things come to mind and honestly... it is even hard to put all those feelings into words. When I think about the qualities anyone would want in a best friend - she possesses every single one of them! 

For me... BTF is my partner in crime, a person I can laugh with (or at), cry with, and even yell at if that's what it takes for me to feel better.  She is the one that when everything is going wrong in the world (for either of us) we turn up the music and dance it out. She is the one that I can show up at her house uninvited and feel like she has been expecting me all day long. She is the one that when I am 2,000 miles from home sitting in a hospital with my dad who calls me and says, "I can be on a flight in 2 hours, and I will come sit with you" and she truly meant EVERY word! She is the one that when your kids get hurt (and you don't do blood) who goes into super mom mode to take care of your kids and clean up the blood. She is my honky-tonkin', last minute road-trippin', festival goin' partner.  She is the one who shows up at the hospital to sit with my mom and daughter, and hands me a Frosty after surgery just to make me feel better.  She is the one with will pray for you and with you. She is my forever person who I can be silly with and always be nothing except myself!  She is my rock and some days my life line to reality...the one who always shoots me straight (even if I don't like it). 

So...today I celebrate her!  I thank God for her every day, and I thank Him for putting her in my life.  I hope that  everyone is lucky enough to have a friend like her! 

Happy Birthday BTF... I will always love you more!!

 

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