I have always been told that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime. I have also been told that as you grow older that you will be able to count your true friends on one hand. I have been taught that above all else, you should ALWAYS pray about everything, and seek His will first. And, if you do this...the outcome will always be what it should. I have not always taken advice, and sometimes (believe it or not) I am not very good at listening. As I get older, I realize that all of these things are so very important. As a mom, you want your kids to have the kind of friends who will always have their back and are always there for them. As a friend, I want to be the best one I can be. I also try to always be honest and not hurt people's feeling along the way - but, I can tell you that does not always happen. I have watched people who I love struggle lately with friendships and people who have let them down - and it breaks my heart to watch them as they come to the realization that those people are not who they thought they were. So, what is the true meaning of friendship? For some, it is that one person who is always there and never leaves your side. For others, it may be finding that one person who almost knows you better than you know yourself and who ALWAYS has your best interest at heart. Friendship can mean so many things to people, and everyone's definition is probably different. Friendship can look different with each relationship. I have one friend that I have known since the day I was born, and although we may not talk on a daily, weekly, or heck...even monthly basis - I know she is ALWAYS there if needed. I have a friend where we have a designated time each week to have a proper catch up session, and that time is dearly treasured. I also have a friend that I talk to on a daily basis - this is my partner in crime, my ability to stay grounded, and the cold harsh truth when no one else has the guts or want to tell you what you need to hear. I also have friends who I see once a year for a girls trip - these are the people who may not be in my every day life, but they are treasured! These are the friends who you are 100% completely yourself, no censorship needed that love you unconditionally always! Not only are we bound by a sisterhood (Kappa Delta), but we have almost 30 years of friendship behind us!Friendship looks different to everyone! So...regardless of what friends you have or what kind of friend you are - you should always be the best you can be! You don't ever know what others are going through, so be kind always! Give someone a big 'ole hug - you never know when that may be the one thing that turns their day around!A big shout out to all of my friends who love me daily! I could not do life without you guys!!
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"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
As I sit here and reflect on the past year - I am amazed at the moment's that God has had his hand on me and my life. At this very moment one year ago, I was sitting in the critical care unit at Sumner Regional Medical Center and trying to wrap my head around what was happening. At 12:48am, on September 17 I received a phone call asking if D was home. My response was let me go check. When I got out of bed, I heard the doorbell ringing. I was definitely not prepared for what I saw next. As I rounded the corner from my bedroom, through my kitchen, and into my den - when I turned to the right, I saw D laying on the couch almost unconscious. I will leave out the rest of the gory details, because honestly... they are just not important. As I knelt beside her and called 911, I could not believe what was happening. How could she attempt to take her life? What was going on, and how had I missed the warning signs? As the police showed up, and then the ambulance - I was in shock. K was standing in her door watching everything in awe while I was trying to wrap my head around the whirlwind. The paramedics put her in the ambulance, and K and I got in the car and followed them to the hospital. We went into the ER, and the nurses told us we would not be able to see her due to her being unstable. What??? How at the lowest point in a person's life could her loved ones not be around her to let her know that we care??? As I sat in the waiting room and made phone calls, K and I began to pray. That was the only thing we could do...we were completely helpless! The nurse came out (as promised) to give us an update. When she looked at me, she said, "Are you Lori?" I said, "Yes." She said, "I'm not sure if you remember me or not, but I was your replacement at Moore and Associates when you went on maternity leave. Since I know you, come on back with me." Y'all... I had not seen this person in over 17 years and she remembered me!!!
I went back to the room to see D, and we sat and cried and prayed, and dealt with the situation the best we could (again, leaving out the gory details). As they got ready to move her to CCU, the original nurse told us we would not be able to go with her - that they would contact us at a later time. When transport came, the kindest man looked at me and said, "Are you ready?" I told him that I was under the impression that we were not allowed to go and he said, "Sweetheart, you have been through enough." Y'all... a sweet man that I had never known took mercy on us! Before we were moved to CCU, I had been told there were strict rules, and no one was allowed to stay under the circumstances.. Guess what?? We got to the room, and got D settled and this sweet nurses aide, said, "Would you like a bed so you can stay?" It was about 7:30am on September 17, and I had not had sleep in over 24 hours - I was tired and exhausted and couldn't even think straight. The nurses were changing shifts, and when our daytime nurse came to introduce herself - I could not have been more pleased. She said, "I'm Wendy... I will be your nurse today." I don't know how to explain what happened next, except it was God. This sweet woman who I had not known 5 minutes hugged D and I, and became our biggest advocate over the next few days. Our nurses aide, Jessica, sat down on her knees and gave us her testimony. On day 3, we were told that D was being moved to a stabilization unit in Cookeville, and that she would have to go by police escort to get there. As we met with the mobile crisis unit, the social worker came out and said, "Would you like to drive her?" All I could do was cry, "of course - I would like to drive her." We were releasedthat day, and we made the drive to Cookeville. For the next few days... I made that drive during visiting hours, and D and I talked and she constantly had her Bible that my mom had given her. We brought her home, and that is when the tough stuff began. None of the past year had been easy, but I am so thankful that when I look back - I can see God's hand in ALL of it! There were doors opened for us that should have never been opened, and kind people made exceptions that should have never been made. I know that I serve a mighty God, who has a plan for ALL things! These are the basics of my story, and if anyone is struggling and would like to hear the rest - I am willing to share. I cannot explain everything that happened over the weeks that followed - there is no explanation except for God! Today, this sweet girl is thriving and has had a great year. No one has ever said it was easy, but it is worth it! I cannot express the gratitude and thankfulness for those who came and sat at the hospital, brought food, prayed with us, and simply loved on us and my sweet kids!While, our story has a happy ending, I am aware that some do not. September is Suicide Awareness Month... if anyone you know has talked about or considered suicide - do not take it lightly. Suicide is the silent killer. Please, if you or anyone you know EVER needs help, needs someone to talk to or just to pray with - I am always here!
This morning, as I sit and think about the past two weeks, there are several things that are on my mind. I have said it before, and I have said it again - my life has truly been blessed beyond measure. I have the best friends that I can trust and they are always there, I have three amazing children who surprise me on a daily basis, and I have a family that is more supportive than anyone could have ever hoped for or imagined. As I look at my life over the last couple of years, there are lots of mistakes that have been made and there are lots of good things that have happened. There have been a lot of accomplishments and there have been a lot of shortcomings - these things are just part of life.As I sit here drinking coffee, listening to what He has to say, I was led to Romans 12. The following portion of this chapter really hit home this morning:Romans 12:9-21 (NLT)
9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection,[a] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[b] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! 17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,“I will take revenge; I will pay them back,”[c] says the Lord. 20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”[d]
21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.Wouldn't it be a great world to live in, if we could all live by this principle? What would happen if instead of running people in the ground, we lifted them up? If instead of talking about them, we prayed for them? If someone hurt us, we prayed for not only our healing - but theirs as well? What kind of difference would be made if we were truly happy for everyone's accomplishments? So... I would challenge everyone this week to remember these words and try to live by them, and change the world one person at a time!!
There are many storms that we face in life, and unfortunately - as much as we want to predict what is going to happen... we can't. We don't really know what is going to happen one minute from now - much less one hour, one day, one month, or one year from now. One year ago today, we visited (our now church home) Freedom Church for the first time. My family had been struggling and looking for a new church home for a while. When you have grown up in the same church your whole life - it is hard to make a change...even when you know that is not where God is telling you to be. After being in class with Pastor T and Kevin, I knew I would be visiting their church. From the moment we walked in, we first sat down, and the music started – I knew we were where we needed to be. We had found our new church home! Our first week was the beginning of the series on doubt – for me, it completely hit home. Over the 3 weeks of that series, I began to pray like no other and really focus on getting my life and relationship right with Christ - the way I knew it should be. Little did I know at that time, that He was preparing me for the events to come.
On September 17, 2016 – we had a life changing event. I woke up at 12:48 am on September 17 to my doorbell and phone ringing. When I got up to see what was going on – I was not prepared for what I found. D (who was living with me at the time) had attempted to take her life, and I found her in my den… laying on my couch. In the hours and days to follow, I didn’t know what to do except to pray. I prayed, prayed and then prayed some more. We got her stable and out of CCU, and moved her to stabilization unit in Cookeville. On Saturday, when I went to visit her I took her a Bible - my mom and I had marked some scripture that had helped us through tough times. I told her that God had a greater plan for her and that she was still here for a reason. I didn’t know what it was and neither did she, but encouraged her to pray and read the Bible and see what scripture God led her to. Although, D had gone to church from time to time – she never had that real relationship with God.
That next Sunday was the first of the Inside Out Series… JOY. I sat down in church that morning, completely broken – and Pastor T gave me hope. For the next 3 weeks, each Sunday morning – I knew God was speaking directly to me through him. The next Sunday, I got up and 2 of my kids were sick and one had been in an ATV accident Friday, and everything in me wanted to go back to bed. I walked downstairs, woke D up, and said – let’s get moving, church is calling. She looked at me and groaned, got up and said okay. And… we were off. I cannot explain to you the feeling in me when Pastor T started preaching. God used him to give my sweet girl the EXACT message she needed to hear! She has been struggling and hurting for so long. Pastor T was an answer to prayer!! Over the next 30 days, we had ups and downs, and continue to have them on a daily basis. I can truly look back now (almost a year later) at the 911 call, the ER staff, the days and nights in CCU, and the days since we have been home and I can see God’s hand in every detail, even in the worst of situations.
I say all of this now, as we finished up a series call "Puzzled" this morning. Last week Pastor T said, "you may not be able to see it, but God has his hands on you." This is so very true, but it is so hard to see sometime. So, when we are all worrying about the doubts of today, we must trust in God's tomorrow. The past 2 weeks have been a great reminder for me of everything we have overcome in the past 11 months, and everything we will still need to overcome. As we were reminded this morning, "faith never makes things easy, faith makes things possible."
There are so many things I am grateful for where my church is concerned. I am forever grateful, for God putting Pastor T and Kevin in class with me, at just the right time! I am grateful for having a church family and staff who truly care. I am forever grateful for Chad and him continually inviting K to The Edge on Wednesday nights - and not giving up. There are words to express just how grateful I am and how much love I have for my church family!
Sixteen years ago my life changed forever! I went from being the mom of 2 boys, to being the mom of 2 boys and a GIRL! As I sat in the hospital waiting for the sassy bundle of joy to be born... I was still convinced she would be a boy (even though the doctor's told me different). I had no idea what to do with a girl - I was a boy mom!! What would I do if she had hair? Would I ever want a bow in it? Would she forever wear t-shirts and shorts like the boys? I had no idea what to do with her! But... I learned.
From the time she was born, she stole the hearts of everyone in the house, and she had her brothers (or at least J) wrapped around her little finger. From the time we brought her home, he would pick her up and just hold her - because that's what big brothers do. When I would tell the kids to clean their room, J & C would clean promptly - the princess would sit and wait on J to come to her rescue and yes... he always did! He cleaned her room each week. When she was old enough to walk, she never had to... why, you ask?? Because J carried her! She would sit in her bed each morning and scream in her sassy way, "I need a fruit bar and milk." And every morning, me or the boys would serve the princess breakfast in bed. It seems like just overnight, she grew up!
Now, when I look at her I see the beautiful young lady she is growing up to be. She is just as beautiful inside as she is on the outside. She is kind hearted and always kind to everyone. She is not afraid to speak her mind. If you're lucky enough to be her friend, she is loyal to a fault and she will love you unconditionally. She will love on you and laugh with you. She will make you laugh until you want to pee in your pants! She is the biggest bear hugger of all times, and she is also the queen of "i want someone to rub my head." She is the lover of all animals big and small. She loves her WHOLE family, and more importantly she loves God. She makes me want to be a better person and a better mother on a daily basis. Regardless of anything else, she is my princess and she will always be my baby girl.
Happy Sweet Sixteen K!!! Always know you are loved!!
It is a rainy Friday morning, and I have been sitting here with C & K enjoying our lazy morning. As I am sitting here with two pups and two kids, I have been thinking about my birthday month and what an amazing month it has been! The past 30 days have been filled with more family, friends, love, hugs, and laughter than I could have ever imagined! And honestly... I could not be more thankful or blessed! This has been a month of mended relationships, and reminders that each one of us is human, and each one of us make mistakes. It has been a month of forgiveness and open-mindedness and a month of new relationships being born, This has been a month of completing life long goals, and accomplishing things I never thought I could. It has been a month of friends who need each other and are there for each other, if for nothing more than a dance party and laughs!I just want to thank all of my people for an amazing month, and for all of you being such amazing people and blessing my life each and every day!! I love you all!!!
A lot has happened in our lives over the past couple of months. C has graduated from high school, and had his 18th birthday... he is now legally an adult. K is approaching her 16th birthday, and now has a car - she is also the only "non-adult" in our house (which she isn't so sure about). C has rescued a wild bunny, lost the same wild bunny, and J found it again. I still work crazy hours at a job I LOVE, and I am finishing up my last 3 weeks of school. Finishing my degree has not been easy, but it has been worth it! My mom had a mishap on Mother's Day, and we spent a lot of time at the hospital. We have been on our family vacation, and there have been break-ups. I say all of this for everyone to always remember... we are all human! So...I thought I would share a few things about me - that make me who I am.I make mistakes & my kids make mistakes. I have friends who are gay, lesbian, and straight. I am not perfect and will NEVER claim to be. I have few TRUE friends, and I cherish them dearly. I have new friends that I am growing to love daily. I love my family more every day, and I know I do not always tell them I appreciate them like I should. I am a Jesus lover, and proud of it! I daily work on my relationship with Him, and I know I stumble. I also know He is a forgiving God that loves us! I try really hard not to judge others, although I fail at times. I am loyal to a fault, but when you push me to my limit I have no trouble walking away. I am capable of making my own decisions, mowing my own grass, and fixing my own stuff. Would it be nice to have help...yes, but it is not mandatory. I am a big girl, and I can get it done! I love social media - it has its faults, but it also has allowed me to reconnect with sorority sisters and lifelong friends. It gives my family that lives out of state the ability to watch my kids grow up and vice versa. I am stubborn and hardheaded. If I believe in something I will stand my ground to the end. I will apologize when I'm wrong, and I will also forgive. I will tell people I love them because you never know when someone really just needs to hear it and be reminded. I always support my kids and love them unconditionally - even when I don't agree. I believe that everyone should always have that one person who always has their back, that you can always depend on. I have been divorced for 11 years, and it has not always been easy. I have also had relationships over the past 11 years that have not lasted, all for different reasons. When they ended it was not one person's fault - and I'm okay with that. I started praying several years ago for whoever that person may be that God brings in my life. I have no idea who it will be, or if it will be anyone, But... I do know that God has a plan and His plan is always better and greater than my own.I say all of this to ask everyone to remember to be kind and respectful. We are all going through things in life that are hard...no one knows about these things or needs to know about them. There are things that happen that no one will ever understand except the people involved. We are all put on this earth for a short time, and we do not know when our time will be up. So, I will choose to be happy, love my people and love my God.Happy Sunday y'all!
