Thank you...

As everyone knows our Army family journey started in October when C called me one afternoon, and asked me what I would think if he enlisted in the Army.  I took a deep breath and let him know I would support him every step of the way.  And... that is what I have done - what our entire family has done! You see, when you have a child enlist in the military - it does not just affect that one person... it affects everyone!  You have to find ways to adjust to the new normal. As a  mom (who loves to be in control), you realize that you no longer have any control and it is HARD!  When your child leaves, and will be gone for 15 weeks for OSUT (One Station Unit Training), you give up when you will talk to your SIT (Soldier in Training), you take your phone with you everywhere and you may kill someone getting to it if it rings.  As a mother, you realize with every letter you receive that your child is being pushed to limits beyond which you ever thought was possible.  They are training to be the BEST...they are training to be a warrior!

When C came home on leave, he was home for 9 days... and let me tell you - 9 days is NOT enough!  We had family dinners, he had plans with friends, he went fishing, he slept late... he got to be an 18 year old teenage boy again.  The happiness that comes from waking up and walking out to a den full of boys sleeping cannot be described.  Some of these boys have been on road trips with our family, and have made every milestone during this journey with C.  I'm talking from being sworn in, to being there the day he got on that bus, to family weekend,  then to graduation, and to the airport with me the day he left.  I cannot tell you how much we love them!  They are FAMILY!

The morning C left for Ft. Wainwright in Fairbanks, AK - it was a crazy day!  We spent the morning packing, I spent the morning holding back tears and soaking up every minute I had him.  As we left for the airport we have several stops - the first was to sell his car, then a few last minute good-byes.   We got to the airport, and I got my gate pass to continue soaking up every last minute.  You know there are all of these "Army mom rules" people tell you about... #1 - Never cry in front of your soldier, #2 - It's never good-bye, it's always "see you later." - well let me tell you those 2 things are the hardest things EVER!!!! When we got to the gate, I was struggling but holding it together.  When the airline started boarding the plane, I got one last hug and and  "I love you mom" and I could not control the tears!  I walked away from the crowd and stood in the back watching him wait to get on the plane.  A lady standing not too far from me, came over and said, "Honey, is that your baby?" I said, "Yes, ma'am".  She then said, "Well, he's holding back tears."  With those words.... I was done - tears were streaming!  Another lady walked over and just gave me a big hug - and then her husband walked over and said, "I plan on thanking him for his service, but thank you for sacrificing your family and for allowing him to serve."  Yall... it was such a reminder that there are still kind people in this world!  

I say all of this to say, that I could not have gotten through any of this without the love and support of my family and friends!  The people who have been there to listen to me whine, cry, get angry, and ultimately make sure that I am okay.  My co-workers have been beyond amazing...making sure that they have my back, so I could be there with my kids every step along the way! I have watched my sweet nieces drive hours just to spend a couple of hours with C,  I have watched J and K give up their own plans to soak up the time with the little/big brother.  I have watched the unconditional love and support, and the pride they have for the sacrifice their brother is making, and honestly... it's been pretty awesome!  I have always said it is such a blessing that my kids are close, and their cousins are more like siblings than cousins - but I must admit ... it definitely pulls at the heart strings! 

So.. THANK YOU to everyone who has called, contacted, showed up, sent sweet cards, or listened to me whine!  YOU are greatly appreciated and LOVED!!!

Army mom life...

As a single mom, there are many rewards and many heartaches.  You get to be the one to tuck those sweet babies into bed every night, and you also get to be the one to discipline them on a daily basis.  You get to be the first one to celebrate when great things happen, but you also get to be the one to wipe away the tears. As many great moments as there are, there is the moment of panic and being super proud (all at the same time) - and that is the moment when one of your babies decides they want to serve our country.  

For me, this was the first time I had dealt with the military at all - so, I had no idea what to expect.  Yes, my brother was in the Air Force.  Yes, my dad was in the Army.  But...knowing those things does not prepare you in any way for your child.  I had no idea what went into enlisting in the Army, until C started the process.  Now... I did NOT help with this process and as a mom - it was hard (especially if you know me).  But...this is also how I knew this was exactly what he wanted to do.  With every test, every appointment, the day he left got closer.  Then, January 16 was here and he got on a bus to Ft. Benning. As I watched the buses pull away that day, my heart was breaking.  Then came the hard part...no communication.  On day 10 - I finally got my first phone call - and it was a short one!  But.. I knew he was okay.  I wasn't really worried about him being physically okay - it was the fear of the unknown. As the weeks went by, I became a mailman stalker - I lived for a letter!  And... let me just say,  we should really write letters more often - they are a great thing!  Then came family weekend... and I really thought I would squeeze C to death!  I was sooooo excited! Leaving that time was still hard, but I knew in 5 short weeks that I would see him again.  The other thing to remember in all of this - while they are in BCT (Basic Combat Training) you know they are being trained, but you also know there are live fire exercises - because they are there to learn how to win in combat situations. So, for me... that is a lot to take in.  Each day was started in prayer - praying for mental, physical and emotional strength for him.  

The weeks have moved pretty quickly, and we just got home from the Turning Blue Ceremony and  OSUT (One Station Unit Training) graduation.  My sweet boy was has grown from a little boy into a man, and a civilian into a soldier in 15 1/2 short weeks. Now... we are on to the next chapter - he will be stationed at Ft. Wainwright in Fairbanks, Alaska (this is 3,914 miles from home).  He will leave here on May 15, and start the next chapter in his life.

Please continue to keep my soldier in your prayers as he makes this transition, and J and C as they prepare for their brother to make the next move.  And.. just know that if you see me anytime the week of May 15 - I may burst into tears and possibly need a hug! But for now... I will enjoy each and every minute of him being home and soak up as much family time as I can! I can tell you though my new favorite four words are BOOTS IN THE HOUSE!! 

Just be still...

So... I'm not even sure to how to start this - but, here it goes.  Have you ever had a time in your life where you have 2.2 million things going on and you were worried and stressed about everything??  Well... I have had a lot going on in the past several months. I have fostered my first child (and it's not easy), I have had a child go into the Army (and that wasn't easy either), I have changed roles in my job (which I am super excited about), and those are just the top three.  There has been a lot going on in my life, and I have worried until I have about made myself sick.  As all of my craziness has been going on, I have listened to a dear friend who has had their share of craziness as well.  The difference.... one of us is patient and one of us is not (I'm just going to let you decide which one is and which one is not). As we have talked, he kept saying, "I'm just trying to be still."  Now... anyone who knows me - knows that being still is NOT my strong suit.  But, it is great advice.  So... I have really started thinking about what being still means.

Being still - perhaps being still is calming your mind by letting God take control or maybe it is simply listening to His voice instead of our own.  I think so many times we get caught up in what we want in life, and we let worry take over and we forget to listen to what He has to say.  In Exodus 14:14, it tells us, "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." Wow... that sounds so easy right?? What would happen if we prayed, and asked Him to fight our battles for us?  Do you think the outcomes would be different if we were to listen to His answer, instead of our own?  And what about our mistakes?? Do you think that if we were to sit still and listen He may show us what we are doing wrong?  In Job 6:24,  we are told, "Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray."  Y'all... I know that I get caught up in what I want, what my kids want, what my family wants AND I know that I forget to ask what HE wants!  Can you even imagine how your life would change if we were simply sat still and silent and actually listened?   

As this week continues, here is the commitment I am making to myself.  I will pray about everything!  I will be still and I will wait patiently on an answer.  As a matter of fact, y'all may want to pray for me to be patient (definitely NOT my strong suit).  I will also be praying for the many people in my life who have big decisions to be made.  As my wise friend said, "sometimes you just have to be still."

On a side note... please pray for my soldier this week.  C is finishing up his combined Basic Training and AIT, and beginning today was starting his last field training exercise (which is a week long).  This is the last in a long line of physical, emotional, and mental endurance exercises he will have to complete before graduation.  So... please just keep him in your prayers! 

All in the family...

Anyone who knows me, knows that typically (besides my kids) we have other people living under our roof.  I have people ask, "do you ever just get tired of having someone extra in your home?" The answer... NO! As crazy as it may have been at the time, I can look back on every single one and see God's hand. We each had our own special time that we spent together and traditions that started.  As I embark on my next "kid" story this week, I began thinking and trying to figure out where I learned that it was okay to open up my home and let people in.  Growing up.. it was just my parents, my sister, my brother and me.  Then, it hit me...it was always that way - except for that one summer!  

I was maybe 14/15 years old, and we had a girl come to our door selling books.  I remember my mom inviting her in, then asking her to stay for dinner.  The next thing I knew y'all... my mom was inviting her to move in for the summer.  I was horrified!  How could we let someone we knew nothing about move into our home? But.. we did.  And more importantly - how dare she get some of MY attention from MY mom?  I mean really... didn't she have her own? Looking back now, I know that my mom was showing me it was okay to open up your home and prepare me for things later in life, and there was plenty of love to go around. But - I did NOT see it that way at  the time. She was preparing me for other plans the God had for me! I had no idea at the time, the impact that one summer would have on my life, and the number of young adults I would have in my home over the years.

Whether they are young 20 somethings who simply need a chance to get their feet under them, or if they are younger kids who just need  a safe place to hang out for a bit... my door was and always is open.  As they have moved in our home, there have always been rules in place - 1) you must go to church, 2) you must let me know where you are and I will get to know your friends and 3) you must participate as part of the family.   I have had multiple kids in and out of our home over the last 10 years, and each of them leave a lasting impression on my heart! You see, once you move in - you're FAMILY! Tomorrow, we will venture into the next phase of kids moving in our home, and we are SUPER excited! We love him already, and can't wait to see what God is going to do in our lives!

The love of letters...

In our house, Valentine's day has always been a special day.  Not because of lavish gifts, candy, and grand gestures - but because of letters!  It's kind of ironic, because in the last month letters have taken on a whole new meaning. Letters are a tradition in our home! There is something about a hand written letter, that has a meaning like no other.  It is a very simple act...picking up a pen and a piece of paper. It doesn't cost much at all... which is why the Valentine tradition in our house started to begin with.  

Years ago (approximately 11), I was newly single with 3 small kids. Valentine's Day was fast approaching, and quite honestly - I simply did not have the money to spend on Valentine's gifts.  So, that year... I sat down and wrote all three of my kids a letter.  I can tell you as I wrote each letter, I sat and cried like a baby.  As I went through their accomplishments for the year, and told them how proud of them I was,  I never expected the reaction I got when they opened them.  On that morning, I explained to them that we were not doing gifts, but I had them all a letter.  As they read them, there was not a dry eye in our living room.  We all sat down, and just appreciated our love for each other and had a great morning just simply spending time together.  Each year after that, my kids looked forward to their letters - it was truly their favorite gift! The next year, when Valentin's Day rolled around - I had each of the kids gifts, and they got mad at me... they wanted their letters!  This is when I knew we had a new tradition...the year it all began! Over the years, they have each stored them away in their own special place - and I love that they cherish them.  When J left for college, he really didn't take a lot of stuff with him to decorate his room.  But, while we were setting us his desk - he pulled out his letters.  Y'all they were neatly placed on his desk, and this mom's heart was so very happy!  I love this tradition, and I hope it is one that truly stays in place over the years!   There is something so simple, yet so very special.  

This past year, we had several big things happen in our lives.  And...my favorite gift of all - a letter my sweet daughter had written me!  Now, with C being gone - letters have taken on a whole new meaning.  Letters are currently our only means of communication, and I have cherished every word my sweet boy has written.  For me, there is nothing like seeing his handwriting on a piece of paper! All of the letters in our home are something we will keep forever!  So...if you're trying to figure out what to give someone - I would encourage you to simply write a letter!  You might be surprised by the reaction you get!

Happy Valentine's Day y'all!

The Army life begins...

Well...C's adventure has officially begun!  On January 17, 2017, he was sworn into active duty in the United States Army and left for Basic Combat Training. Let me just say... I have never felt so many emotions all at one time.  Y'all, I went from sad, to proud, to excited, and back to sad all within a matter of 2.2 seconds.  When I dropped him off at the recruiter's office on Monday, I did pretty good - there were NO tears (it was a miracle). When he hugged me and told me bye, it was a simple..."Mom, I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."  Easy enough, right?   Well, then tomorrow came and I watched him get on a bus knowing that he will be gone for 15 weeks and 3 days (not that I am counting). That was a little harder, but I was pretty proud of myself.  There were no tears shed until he got on the bus and it pulled away.  

As we were on our way home, we stopped for lunch and kept ourselves busy.  Then we walked in the front door last night, and it was quiet.  I walked into C's room, and it was perfectly clean and picked up.  There was no laundry on the floor, there were no dirty glasses on his table, and his closet was perfectly organized!  That is when it all hit me... he isn't coming home. We are starting on a list of firsts.  To start with, he won't be home for Valentine's Day (not a huge holiday, but we have traditions), Easter,  or his brother's birthday.  He won't be wrestling with Sadie in the den floor, and he won't be making the crazy bird noise that drives me CRAZY!!!  

Not only is there an empty place in my life with this kid, there is one in the families of his friends who have loved my sweet boy like their own!  This kid (since the day he was born) has stolen the hearts of everyone he has met - he has never met an enemy. When I think about the little boy who started kindergarten, and the young man who got on that bus yesterday - all I can say is WOW!   Y'all, when he started kindergarten - he wouldn't even walk in the door.  He wrapped himself around my legs, while his saint of a teacher (Ms. Parker) pulled him off and worked her magic every morning!  I said it when he was in her class, and I will say it again... she is a SAINT!!! She made that boy love school more than any other, and gave him confidence at the age of 5.  After kindergarten, there was no stopping him!  

As I have read the comments on Facebook over the last several days, I am so blessed that he had such amazing teachers who each brought something different into his life.  They each challenged him in different ways, and helped shaped him into who he is.  Ms. Parker, Ms, Schulte, Ms. Lockhart and Ms. Pappas are some of his all time favorite elementary school teachers and I cannot ever thank them enough for the amazing job they did.   Then you have the middle school and high school teachers who had an impact each day!  From Ms. Pulley in middle school to Coach Anderson in high school - they all believed in him and shaped him along the way! 

So... to all the parents who have kids wanting to join the military (and I know a few), here's what I will tell you - let your kids follow their dreams.  Support them and love them.  Yes... it's scary, but you have done an amazing job raising these young men and teaching them to reach for the stars! It is going to be hard, but when you watch your child do what he believes in - there is no better feeling... be proud!  

Not only is the next chapter in C's life starting, but the next chapter in my life is starting too.  With both of my boys now gone, I am down to one sweet princess being at home.  Things are changing around here (and we all know I don't like change), but... I am one proud mom watching the kiddos follow their own dreams, and be the person God created them to be!

As I was ringing in the New Year snuggled with my dogs, here are just a few things that have happened as I look back on 2016:

• C graduated from high school 
• K turned 16 and got her driver's license
• K got her first car
• J moved into his first house
• J got his first "big boy" job and is doing great
• Dad #1 had open-heart surgery
• Dad #2 had a heart attack and stints put in
• Mom had an accident that resulted in broken vertebrae and multiple fractures in her pelvis
• Mom finally retired
• K had another visit in the hospital
• C enlisted in the Army

Although, there have been major life events in 2016 - there is a lot to be thankful for!  Both dads are doing well, mom is home and has time to relax and do more for herself, K is thriving in high school and is quickly approaching the end of her junior year, C has made a life decision that he is excited about, and I am one super proud mom! I have friends (old and new) who are always there when needed!  They are there to make you laugh, offer support,  show up with food, make sure your kids are loved on and taken care of, and to pray with you. There have been friendships that have been renewed, and some that are better being let go. 

There is no way of knowing what 2017 will hold, but I know that my God is in control and His timing is always perfect.  I will continue to trust in His plan.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." This is the verse that reassures me that His plan is always the best, and if I only trust in Him - things will turn out way better than i ever could have imagined.

​Happy New Year y'all!

P.S.  C leaves for basic training in 16 days & we are on the final count down!