Well, a lot has happened in a couple of weeks. Just when you think you might be getting your life back, and you are back on your feet, it always seems the rug is pulled from underneath you! Why??? I must ask, why can't it be simple?? You see, the ex and I have been dating, and he had been on a guys trip. He was fine before he left, everything was going well, I thought we were making progress. Obviously, I am stupid! He comes back from being gone, and is a completely different person. Then I get the "I need to find me" speech before I can make anyone else happy. I don't ever want to hurt you and the kids again! Well, guess what big guy, you have! Fast forward 10 days, and everything is hunky dory again! I wish someone could please tell me when the crap do I get my happily ever after!! Oh well, moving on to more important things... my kids!
Last night was Senior Night for J and the last home game of his high school football career. It is so hard to believe that he is a senior, and I am going to have to let him go. I watch these boys go out on the field every week to play the game that they love. I can honestly say, that J leaves his heart on the field at the end of every game. I can also say it is completely heart breaking to watch these boys play their hearts out and not get the results on the scoreboard that they deserve. This is a special group of senior boys. They are all good, Christian young men that all have a special place in my heart. They have a bond that is like no other. They truly have each other's back in any and every situation, and they are a family. These boys have been such a huge part of my life over the last 4 years, it is hard to imagine my life without them in it every week. I have had the privilege of getting to know and love each one of these boys, and couldn't be more thankful for that opportunity!
As I try to imagine my life with C & K, next year... it is very hard. To think that we will be home, and J will have gone off to start another chapter in his life. I know I must give him wings, but it is so very hard to let him fly!
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