J leaving for college was one of the hardest things by far this year. He has been my constant over the last 18 years. He has been what my life has revolved around for as long as I can remember. He is my pride and joy! When you come home after a long day and feel like you are at rock bottom, one bear hug from him and a "I love you Mom", all is right with the world. The days leading up to him leaving were emotional for everyone. We sat & talked, walked down memory lane. C & K were attached to him like they would never see him again. We shopped, gathered together things he would need. We talked about what was expected while he was in college and then we cried. Then the morning came that it was time to move him. He was so excited that I had a hard time being sad. You see, I had spent 18 years teaching him everything I could, and giving him wings and now it was time... time to let him fly! It was so much harder than I expected. As we were packing our cars that morning, and running back and forth trying to make sure nothing was forgotten (which it was), he looked at me and simply said "thank you". I told him no thanks were needed and that I loved him. We then got in cars, and he followed me the whole way to college. When we got there, we walked in his dorm room and we got busy. We started cleaning and unpacking and before you knew it, it was time for me to leave. Yes, actually leave him there and me drive back home and hour and a half. I would no longer be there to make sure he was eating properly, to make sure he had medicine if he was sick. I would not be there to go check on him and watch him sleep, and say a little prayer for him like I had done every night. Yes... I had to get in my car and drive home. We said our goodbyes, gave him one last hug and kiss and then got in my car, started driving home, and cried the whole way! I never knew how hard it would be... now I know that for the next 5 years I have C, I need to truly cherish every moment, because one day you wake up and they are grown.
K has had her own exciting year... she has grown into a lovely young lady. She has started middle school and is trying to figure out exactly who she is. She has the kindest heart and truly wants to live her life according to God's plan. She was baptized on Mother's Day... there was no greater joy than watching her turn her life over to the Lord. She has developed her own "attitude"... which I am assuming comes with middle school girls. She is the sweet one who has the knack for meeting strangers and making friends with them. She went to church camp for the first time (her first overnight camp, away from home). She came back ready to be a witness and share the word of God. She has made great imporovements at school and works very hard to make good grades. She truly earns every grade she gets. She is an inspiration and shows us what determination and perseverance can accompolish.
C has been his normal easy going self, but has had his hurdles too. He is now in the 8th grade, and it is hard to believe that he will be in high school soon. He is playing ball on a travel team and loving every minute. Watching him walk out on a field to play the game he loves, is an amazing feeling. He has developed his own sense of humor and has really come into his own. He has been diagnosed with Celiac Disease this year, and that is proving to be a challenge. But he will be fine, and he will flourish after we figure it all out.
Now... as for me (ugh)! My life has been somewhat of a mess. It has the good parts and the bad parts as well. I started a new job this year, and that has been one of the good parts. It has enabled me to be home with my sweet babies at a decent hour and be back where I should be, involved in every aspect of their life. TK (the boyfriend) and I have been back together since the summer, but that has proved to have it's own challenges. So, I just pray on a daily basis that He will show me His plan, and I will have my heart and mind open to listen and follow it. As I look at the New Year, for me, it is a time of forgiveness. It is a time to look at my mistakes from the past year, look at the people I have hurt, and the people that have hurt me. It is time to let go of the negativity, and forgive. It is time to make some changes to my life, that are for the better. This is a year to hold my kids a little bit closer and hug them a little bit tighter. So... here's to 2012!
