My Wish

It is February 18, 2021 and it has been one heck of a year (past 12 months).  At this time last year, we were all going about our daily routines (which we considered normal), I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off and I was simply wishing to have a little down time. If only I had known what would come in the next several weeks. We had no idea that our entire "normal" was getting ready to change...life as we knew it would be changing for more than the 2 weeks we were promised. We had no idea that our new vocabulary would include words like quarantining and social distancing  - and, we would hear them every 2.2 seconds.  We had no idea that wearing masks would be expected whenever we left our homes.  And, if you happen to forget a mask when you go to the grocery store - people look at you like you have the plague. All of the things that our daily lives consisted of were gone.  Restaurants were closed, you were limited with how many people could gather, and let's not forget that the one thing people chose to hoard was toilet paper.  Who know toilet paper would be such a hot commodity??

As many things were forced to come to an abrupt halt...there were many things that were happening.  We were forced to slow down and enjoy the simple things. We were all spending time at home...which meant spending more time with family - game nights, down time, and simply enjoying being with each other.  It meant truly appreciating each other when we got to spend time together and people stopped taking loved ones for granted.  It meant intentional check-ins with family near and far - making sure everyone knew they were loved because we all had a reality check that none of us were guaranteed another day. It meant instead of being gathered around a table and laughing - we were Zooming.  There were lots of changes, but - not all changes were bad.   

The things that I miss from this moment in time last year... I miss my framily (friends that turn into family).  I miss Wild Wednesday with my soul sisters.  I miss live music and dancing all night. I miss festivals with thousands of my closest friends. I miss traveling, road trips and last minute adventures.  I miss just being able to hug every one you see...I am a hugger at heart. And, quite honestly...this list go could on forever. 

As our lives begin to get back to normal, my wish is that we never forget the lessons that life taught us in the past year.  That we continue to spend time with our family, friends and loved ones and never take one minute together for granted!

It's the little things...

The past eight days have been pretty big in our house.  C and G finished their big adventure from Alaska to Tennessee and I have loved having them home.  When a child lives far away, and you only see them twice a year - you tend to forget some of the little things that always mean so much.  In our house, when important events or big things happen - we count down in sleeps.  We have done this since the kids were little.  How many sleeps until Santa comes?  How many sleeps until Grandpa visits? How many sleep until the beach?  As the kids got older, it became "How many sleeps until graduation? How many sleeps until you leave for the Army?  How many sleeps until you  move back to college?"  We count down in sleeps, when we are excited or something we love is going to happen.  This may seem silly to some, and downright dumb to others - but, this is the way it has been in our house since the kids could talk. 

In our house, each kid always had their own special job. If  I was baking, K was always right beside me - sitting and licking spoons. J was taking the trash out and always sampling food. C was the kid who wanted to clean bathrooms (because you didn't have another chore if you did that one) and he was the king noodle tester. He had the noodle tasting down to a science - when he was little it would be "mom, they're still chewy"and progressed to "just one more minute, and they will be good."  Last night, I was cooking dinner and I had fettuccine noodles on the stove.  I turned around and looked at C standing in the kitchen and realized I had my noodle tester home!  We both giggled like little kids and honestly probably got way too excited!! He walked to the stove, I got his noodle out, put in the exact place he told me and waited..."mom, they need one more minute." Y'all... this was the highlight of my day.  Every little moment we have had like this came rushing back, and for just a minute - he was still my little Coop!  But, it also reminded me - it is the little things you miss when your people are away!

I know there are little things I miss in my kids lives everyday now that they are grown. So...slow down and take some time every day to enjoy all the little things!  As much as I miss the little things some days...I know there are so many more great things (little and big) to come!

In the blink of an eye...

In October 2016, when C called and asked if we could have dinner - I had no idea what was coming.  But, as any mom would do - when one of your children asks...you go. We went to dinner that night, and he told me that he had enlisted in the United States Army.  He also went on to let me know that he had completed all the paperwork, testing, and talked to recruiters on his own - no help from me (which is how I knew he was serious).  As the days went on and PT started, we received the date he would leave for OSUT (One Station Unit Training or basic training for infantry) and we got his date to be sworn in to delayed entry which was December 12.  The morning we got to MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) for him to be sworn in I was a bundle of nerves.  I was handing over my middle child to the United States Army.  But, as I sat and talked to other parents - my nerves were eased and I knew I was not in this alone. They were all talking about the ship dates for their kids being June, July...some even September.  The first mom who asked me what C's ship date was...I wanted to cry as I said "January 7."  You see, all these other families had months to prepare - but, not us...we had a little over 3 weeks! Those 3 weeks passed in the blink of an eye.   The afternoon of January 6, C and I went to the recruiters office and I dropped him off.  Now - I knew I would see him the next morning at MEPS as we waited for him to leave, but y'all - my heart just hurt!  The afternoon of January 7 came, and my baby had been sworn in as an active duty soldier and he got on a bus headed to Ft. Benning, GA for training.  Now - during those 16 weeks he was at Ft. Benning I received 2 phone calls, but the letters were my saving grace.  Those letters are how I knew he was okay.  For 16 weeks, my phone NEVER left my side...for goodness sakes, I slept with it under my pillow - just in case he called. Family weekend and graduation came, and we had a soldier. 

The next big hit that came...he got his orders and  would be stationed at Ft. Wainwright in Fairbanks, Alaska.  As a mother, this was almost just too much.  Not only would be be gone - he would be about as far away from Tennessee as he could be. But, guess what...we all survived.  The things that happened over the next 3 years were rewarding, stressful and heartbreaking at times. While he has been stationed there, life goes on.  For our immediate family, there have been 34 birthdays missed over this time.  There has been his little sisters junior prom, senior prom and graduation.  There have been 3 Thanksgivings, one Christmas and a million holidays in between (4th of July, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Easter, etc.).  There have been deaths of our furbabies and sweet family members.  Y'all - being a military family is not for the faint of heart. There have been more tears and prayers than you could ever possibly count. But, with everything that has been difficult to deal with, there have been so many other things to be thankful for.  I have had the opportunity to watch my little boy grow up into a man that I could not be more proud of.  Whether he is coming home from Alaska or going back - those are the best hugs you could ever ask for.  But - the best hug EVER was the one on family day when you see that your baby has transformed into a soldier!  I have watched everything he has accomplished and my heart just swells with pride.  But...the best is yet to come! 

May 7, 2020 is C's last day of active duty, and that means...he will be coming home! And, y'all - that's not even the best part!  When he was first stationed in Alaska, my biggest fear is that he would meet someone, fall in love, and he would never be back in the lower 48  - much less Tennessee.  Guess what? Those things did happen, but he will be living in Tennessee and she will be coming with him...and, I even got a granddog (River) out of this deal.  C and G will be heading to Tennessee somewhere around the end of May.  They will have a long drive, but - you talk about some excited people...I am so excited I could pee in my pants!  When K was leaving yesterday to go back to Knoxville - she said, "I'll see you in June when Coop gets home."  Y'all, I know he's coming home but,that's when it hit me...I will have all of my kids together again in about 6 weeks (if only for a day or two).  I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am that not only did C find his person, but that she is willing to give Tennessee a chance.  People always ask, does it feel like he's been gone for 3 1/2 years?  Well, on one hand - absolutely yes!  But on the other - the time has gone by in the blink of an eye and we have come out on the other side!

2020...A Crazy Start

So...I am sitting here with a million thoughts in my mind - 2020 is off to a crazy start! Just when you think things can't get any crazier, let me assure you...they can!   In a nut shell this is the first quarter of 2020 for me...we laid my sweet father-in-law to rest in between Christmas and New Years, I had surgery on my foot the first week of January, non-weight bearing for 3 weeks (we know how much I love to depend on others - insert lots of sarcasm), I start walking then get a crazy upper respiratory and sinus infection, I feel great for one day, and then...in all my gracefulness I step on a rock, roll my good ankle, tooth goes through my lip, tooth is chipped, knee is jacked up...ALL before March 1.  Then March 3 and the tornado happens (more to come on this) and now...the coronavirus.  This year is off to a record start!   Now...with all of this - let me say, I know there are people much worse off than I am but - I'm really ready for a do over.

 Let's get back to the tornado.  Y'all... I have no words to express the utter devastation and disaster this caused.  I have spent the last 11 days doing as much as I can to help tornado victims.  And, I know that no matter how much I do - it will never be enough because they are rebuilding their lives.  But - here is what I can tell you..there are some AMAZING people in our great city!  I have completely fallen in love with families that I would have never met.  I have cried with them, loved on their babies, loved on them, gotten to know them and their stories and have gained new friends in the process.  As I have listened to people tell their story, I stand astounded at their faith and their unconditional love for each other.  I have seen that real, true, unconditional, selfless love does exist. I have witnessed a sweet autistic child who doesn't really speak to anyone  - jump up in my lap every night and give me a hug, and talk, and then I would hold his hand and walk him back to his room with his mom. The amazing stories and miracles I have witnessed are too many to tell. The immediate needs for necessities may be over, but these sweet people will need help for months to come.   They will have to rebuild their homes and their lives - nothing will look the same.  They will also have to navigate the craziness of the insurance (or lack of insurance) world. They still have a lot of obstacles to overcome!


Tennessee is the Volunteer State for a reason! If you have no idea what to do to help or how to volunteer, or if you think you are only one person and you can't make a difference, well - reach out, e-mail me, call me!  YOU can make a difference! It has been 13 days since the tornado and I am exhausted and tired, but I have a HAPPY and full heart!  I am tired in the best way possible! If you have ever wondered if there are good people left in the world...let me assure you there are!  There are people you can meet, know for less than 2 weeks, and they make a lasting impact on your life and in your heart! 

'Tis the season to be Army strong...

'Tis the season... the season of celebrating Jesus' birth, the season of giving, and the season of spending time with family.  It is also the season of missing your loved ones when they can't be home for the holidays.  As a single mom, I have been very lucky to always have my kids with me for every Christmas. As an Army mom, I have been very fortunate to have my soldier home every year for Christmas...until this year.

There have been lots of holidays and special events over the last 3 years...there have been 12 birthdays (just in our immediate family), there have been multiple holidays every year (Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Labor Day, Memorial Day, July 4), there have been proms, high school graduations, college move-in days, K moving into her first apartment - all of these things have been missed by our soldier. Yes - we know this is what he signed up for, and we as a family support him unconditionally but...it is hard.  This year will be the first Christmas in 3 years he won't be home. While I am very thankful he is on U.S. soil - he's not in Tennessee. He is 3,901 miles from home.

Tonight, as I was finishing up Christmas shopping to get his box in the mail first thing tomorrow - as I was picking up a few last minute things...I was standing in the toy aisle with tears.  There are traditions that families have (even if they are silly) that when a piece of the puzzle for that tradition is going to be missing - it is hard.  Do you keep doing it?  Do you skip a year?  Do you try to make it work almost 4,000 miles away?   There is no right answer...so, you do your best to make the decision knowing that it will be hard - knowing that a big piece of your heart is going to be missing either way. Most days I have this "Army strong" thing down...tonight was not one of those nights. Tonight I miss my soldier something fierce.  As I was wrapping presents, and I was having my pity party (and yes, it was a pity party) - the phone rings, and it was my sweet soldier FaceTiming me.  Then, I remember that things could be worse. I remember just why I am so thankful for technology that allows me to see his sweet face from so far away. Then, I remember that although he is not home - he will be home soon and so many others will never get the opportunity to spend a holiday with their loved one again.  So... I put on my big girl panties, finished wrapping presents, packed his box, and have everything ready to be shipped tomorrow.  I know I will survive.  I know I will worry about him being so far away, but - I also know his active duty time is about over and I he will hopefully be home in the next 6 months. So...I thank God that he is safe, I say a prayer for all the other military moms that are not going to be with their loved ones and I suck it up and get back to the "Army strong" thing.

Missing back to school...

In the past week, I have gotten kind of nostalgic.  I have scrolled through social media, walked through stores, and realized that I truly miss the hustle and bustle of back to school shopping.  NEVER did I think I would miss searching for folders in certain colors, the correct brand of scissors and crayons, or notebook paper... but, I do!   I miss the excitement of getting ready to meet your teacher, going to registration and watching my kids catch up with their friends, comparing schedules to see if they have classes together, and the big decision of what you will wear on the first day.

While I really do miss buying crayons and markers - I have traded them in for so much more.  I am now buying bar stools and furnishings for K's first apartment.  I am looking at college schedules and watching my kids spread their wings.  I am still making appointments...just different kinds.  I sat down with my soldier and completed his Living Will, Last Will & Testament and his Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare (all with tears, and not feeling so "Army mom strong").  I watched as he got on a plane to head back to Alaska, and am now anxiously waiting to hear when he leaves for the "sandbox."  I have requested receipts from J, so I can make sure his bookkeeping doesn't get behind.  So, while I really do miss the chaos of getting ready for school - we are just getting ready for this season of life with a different kind of "grown up" chaos. 

The one thing that has not changed is the prayer that I pray every day for my kids.  I pray for them to have emotional, mental, and physical strength.  I pray for them to have the best year ever.  I pray for their safety and for God to wrap His arms around them.  I pray for them to make wise decisions and always seek His guidance before moving forward. 

So - for all you moms that simply are stressing about the red, blue and yellow 3 prong folders, the scissors, Clorox wipes and Crayola washable markers - ENJOY EVERY MINUTE!!  One day you are going to wake up, and wish you were still doing these things.  Take a deep breath, and know that if you think you can't just look in one more store - call me...I will happily shop for you and enjoy every minute! 

Let me tell you about my best friends...

Thirty(ish) years ago, there were several teenage girls that walked into a room - and all of a sudden we were "sisters." At that time, I had no idea the impact these ladies would leave on my life. All I knew was that when I was doing this thing called college...it allowed me to make some new friends and have a built in social life.  Little did I know that thirty years later, these ladies would still be by my side.

Now, let me just say...in college, we all did our own thing, had our own friends, and lived our own lives.  But, the one constant for us was each other and this sisterhood we shared. We were never those "cookie cutter" friends - meaning we were not all alike.  We were as different as night and day (and we still are today). Today...we are veterinarians, financial planners, station managers, training specialists, accounting people (which I can't imagine), account managers, and mom's.  If you forget about how different we are, you will see we are the constants in each other's lives. Over the years, there have been marriages, divorces, births, deaths, graduations, break-ups, and all of the things in between.  But, when those things happen - we gather around each other to celebrate, grieve, lift each other up, and  support each other. When one of us hurts - we all hurt.  When one of us cries - we all cry. There is no judgement, because we all know we are human and make mistakes.  We may throw hissy fits and act like children - but, we know that it is just part of life. And guess what? When we do those things - we pick up the pieces and within minutes we are laughing again. We may get upset with each other, but we talk it out or, we dance it out - whatever may be needed at that time.  But, most of all - we love each other unconditionally!

The best part about these people of mine - we don't have to see each other or talk to each other every day.  And, if you are not with us - you are missed. There is an unspoken understanding - if you need someone, you call.  If you reach out, we all know that we are only a phone call, or a short road trip away.  We may not see each other as often as we would like, and we may not talk as often as we should - but... we always have each other's  back and when we all get together, we pick up as if no time has passed.  And, this my friends...is priceless!