Looking forward to 2016...

Over the holidays, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on this year and looking forward to next year.  On one hand, 2015 has been a year of heartache and sadness and on the other hand, it has been one of great joy.  I have watched my kids grow into amazing adults, spread their wings, and chase their dreams. I have watched them prepare for the next chapter in their lives, and I have watched them struggle to make decisions and find their way.  This has been a year full of not understanding why things happens, learning from mistakes, and realizing that sometimes tough love is needed. 

The most life changing event happened on September 17 when we had a suicide attempt take place in our home.  The night and days following are some I will never forget. I have constantly looked back over the last several months and tried to figure out what I missed.  How could I not see what she was thinking, feeling, and planning.  I know that I could have never prevented what happened, but... there will always be the what if questions.  As I relive many of these events over and over in my head, I know I cannot live in the past.  I know I cannot change the events of that night, and I am extremely thankful for the phone call and the door bell ringing that night.  The phone call and door bell ringing, saved someone's life.  As difficult as those days were, I can truly look back and see where God's hand was in all of the craziness. 

Isaiah 43:18 says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past."  A new year brings new opportunities and new adventures. We all need to remember that God has a plan for our life, and those plans are not in the past - they are in the future.  So often, we tend to pray but forget to wait for the answer. Or... we get the answer and do not like it, so we try to live without God's will being followed.  We do not need to dwell on the past, but look forward.  More importantly  as I move into 2016, I  need to remember the end prize, and that is eternal life with God our Savior. I should be striving daily to live my life in a way that brings glory to Him. 

So, as 2016 approaches hug your loved ones, tell them you love them, live life to the fullest,  and LIVE every single day! Try to be a better mother, daughter,sister,  brother or whatever you may be. Forgive quickly and laugh often! And more than anything... find happiness within you!  

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13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ~ Philippians 3: 13-14 (NLT) 

'Tis the Season

It seems like every year Christmas comes quicker and quicker - the days and months go by so much faster it seems. I'm not sure why it seems to happen, but I find myself wishing that time would really slow down. All throughout the year, and especially as the holidays approach - we are all busy!  So busy in fact, that we forget to slow down and enjoy the little things in life.  We forget to spend time with and appreciate our families.  We forget to slow down and enjoy the little things in life. We don't mean to... it just happens. We all get so wrapped up in trying to make a living  that sometimes we forget to live our life.

 There are so many things that I love about the holiday season, but family traditions are my favorite. For anyone who knows me... they know that I am BIG on traditions. I LOVE tradition.  I love making the same pies every year, I love making Christmas cookies with my sweet daughter and nieces, I love going to Starbucks and having a sing-a-long on the way to look at Christmas lights,  the Christmas parade, dinner at my parents, and one of my all time favorite... the candlelight Christmas Eve service at church where we remember the reason for the season. 

There are so many things about this season that I love! This year, I would encourage everyone to slow down, and spend time with your loved ones, hug them tight, and tell them you love them - every minute counts!  Live in the moment, and enjoy every minute! Most importantly... remember the reason for the season, and be sure to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

Merry Christmas!

A time to give thanks...

The holiday season is upon us!  Thanksgiving will be here in less than a week, Christmas will be here in about a month - and i'm sitting here wondering where the time has gone, and how the year has flown by. This has been a crazy year with lots of adventures, craziness, love, and laughter - and, honestly... I wouldn't change a thing! There are so many things and people in my life that I am thankful for.  So... here are just a  few:

• I am thankful for a BIG God who is always there and whose love is unfailing.  
• I am thankful for my three amazing kids, who I cannot imagine doing life without.  
• I am thankful for my parents, and being raised in a loving Christian home.
• I am thankful for my crazy nieces and nephews  who I love like they are my own. 
• I am thankful for my brother and sister (and their spouses), and their unconditional love (even when they don't agree). 
• I am thankful that I have amazing friends, who make my life full of laughter (even more thankful that they are low maintenance). 
• I am thankful that I have a job that I love, and am able to take pride in the organization I work for.

I know that I am truly blessed!  We really should tell our loved ones each day that we appreciate and are thankful for them, but somehow - life gets in the way, and we get busy. So.. this holiday season, be sure to share your blessings, give an unsuspecting soul a big 'ole hug, show random acts of kindness - you never know when you are making a huge difference in someone's life! 

Things I have learned...

My life has been pretty crazy in the past six weeks, but I have been reminded of some pretty valuable lessons. So... I thought I would share a few.

We have a BIG God! Although, I have always had a relationship with God - it is a great place to be when you can look at all the craziness and tragedies that happen, and see God's hand protecting you and your loved ones every step of the way.

​Always appreciate your friends and family! Yes.. we always love our friends and family -but, how often do we stop to tell them that we appreciate them? I can tell you - not near enough. In the past six weeks, I can honestly say my friends and family have been my rock. They are the ones who shower you with prayer when you don't have the strength to pray, the ones who show up with food unannounced - because they know you won't eat otherwise. The ones who call you just to say they love you. APPRECIATE them and tell them you love them every day!

If you love someone - tell them! How many times in life do we neglect telling our loved ones just how much we love them? All too often! We tend to forget that sometimes, we just need to hear it. We need someone to reassure us that we are loved and valued. Don't let another day pass without telling your loved ones you love them - you never know if that will be the last opportunity you may have.

No matter how old your kids get - you will always worry! Regardless, if your kids are grown or not, whether they live at home or not, whether they are 44 or 22 - as a parent, you will always worry! This is not going to change, so we all need to remember being a parent does not stop when your children turn 18. It is something that remains with you forever. And... they will ALWAYS be your babies.
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When you pray and ask God for something, be prepared to run through the door He opens for you! All too often, we pray for things and we wait for an answer. But, when we get the answer - we do not act, because it may not have been the answer we wanted. It is not our job to question God, it is our job to follow His direction.

​Be thankful! Be thankful for everything you have been given in life. A loving family, children... even the little things like a roof over your head and food on the table. Be thankful for those who love you as family, even when there is no blood relation. Be thankful for siblings, who love you unconditionally - they are the only ones who know everything you have been through in life. Be thankful for those people who can give you a big bear hug, and you know everything is going to be all right. Be thankful for nieces and nephews who bring joy to your life! Honestly... be thankful for all things!

​Take a look around and be truly thankful for everything God has blessed you with. Be sure to hug your parents, your kids, your loved ones - tell them you love them and don't take them for granted.

Life lessons through sports...

Sportsmanship... such a simple word, with a simple meaning, but - so hard to achieve at times.  Since my oldest son (who is now 22) was 4 years old, sports have been a vital part of our family.  I have watched all three of my kids grow up in a ball park where so many amazing memories were made, and some awesome friends were met. Over the last 8 years, I have spent countless hours watching high school sports  (football, baseball, soccer, volleyball, and golf) with a child (or a niece/nephew) on the field.  I have volunteered on the Quarterback Club, in concession stands, auctions, and various other functions investing time and money into programs for our local high school.  As parents, we teach and encourage our kids to be good sports from an early age - but, how many times do we really examine the way we act in the stands. 

Let's face it, the majority of our kids are not going to be professional athletes, but.. we can all take away some valuable life lessons from the field. 

1. Always have integrity.  One of the first thing a child learns playing sports is you must play by the rules. Even when there is an opportunity to break the rules and get ahead - you must follow them and play with integrity. 
2. Always have respect.  Not only does an athlete have to respect the officials/referees, they must respect their coaches, parents, teammates and yes... even the players and coaches on the opposing team. 
3. Always show good sportsmanship.  Being a good sport is more than just being nice to your teammates on the field.  It is about lifting your teammates up, encouraging them, praising them. It means being a good sport on and off the field.  It means treating the opposing team the same way you treat your own. 
4. Always exhibit self-control.   Be positive, level-headed,  and show self control at all times.  Don't be that one guys who throws their helmet or bat across the field.  Don't be that crazy parent in the stands screaming hurtful things at other kids. 
5. Always be supportive.  Be supportive of your coaches - let them coach.  As a parent, it is hard not to coach from the sidelines - but they are the coach for a reason.  If parents are supportive of the coaches, the kids will be also. 

As I have sat in the stands over the past two months at various high school sporting events, I am reminded that we can all learn from the above lessons.  We can all come together and be support each other, regardless of the school you attend.  Parents can show support for their team, without yelling, screaming, and being hurtful and mean towards the opposing team.  Maybe as parents... we should take a step back and look at our athletes that do set the example. 

Two weeks ago on a Friday night at a local high school football game this happened:  two teams, one town, one injured player being taken off the field by ambulance, BOTH teams come together on the 20 yard line and pray! That my friends is what sportsmanship is all about! 

Days you remember...

There are always those days that you will never forget - the dates that are forever etched in your mind for one reason or another. Those dates are typically when one of two things happened... something good or something bad. Not only do you typically remember the date these things happened, but you remember the other details... what you were wearing, what you were doing, what time it was. These are the days that memories are made. Good or bad...they are the days you will always remember. 

In my life - I have multiple dates that are significant in my life, so I thought I would just share a few. The first date I remember was in the 9th grade when the spaceship Challenger exploded after lift off.  That same year, my granddaddy passed away. Then fast forward and there are the days my children were born  - to this day, they are still my greatest accomplishment. Then there is 9/11... I remember vividly standing in my bedroom, holding my daughter and watching The Today Show.  Then you have the proud moments... when your children are baptized or when the graduate from high school - the highlight moments of your life.  Then there are the dates that you have great memories... the day you fall in love, and realize that you want to spend the rest of your life with that one person.   And then...  the dates where the hurt was almost more than you could stand.

On September 17, 2015 - we added another date in our family.  Although, I will not go into details at this time... it was a day that forever changed the way I look at life. I have seen life from a whole other perspective in the last ten days.  I have seen the hurt that unforgiven wounds can cause.  I have seen the hurt that words can cause when not said with love. I have a new appreciation for true friendships and the love that is there.  I have a new appreciation for friends who turn into family, that are willing to be there regardless of the hour.  The friends who just show up, because they love you and want you to know they support you.  The friends who show up at 11:00pm, just to make sure you get home safe.  At much sorrow and hurt, as we have had in the last ten days - I can look at this time and see God's hand in the situation, even at the worst of times.  

This week, as we move on to the next chapter of in our lives...I would encourage everyone to mend those broken fences, to tell your loved ones you love them AND show them every day. Don't ever leave anyone with hateful word, because you never know if that is the last thing you may have said to them.  If you are going to love... LOVE BIG!  Love with everything you have in you!  Give that grumpy person a hug, mend a friendship (or at least try to) - you never know what will happen.  Maybe... just maybe - you will have a new day to remember where happy memories were made.  

A few changes and fears in life...

There are some things in life that always stay the same, some things in life that seem to always change, and some things in life that you are simply scared of changing.  Then, there are those things that you wish would change. The problem with change, is not so much the change - it's the fear of the unknown because of the changes that will happen (did that even make sense?). Everything in life changes.  Your job can change, your relationship status can change, your friends can change. Family traditions can change (not if I can help it), and the church you attend may change.  It's funny how the changes that you  were scared of the most, are sometimes the ones that phase you the least or are the ones that  needed to happen more than the others. I hate change - heck, I don't even like the menu for Christmas dinner to change, but it seems there is a lot of change happening. Joshua 1:9 tells us, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  

Over the course of the past 12 months, my family has had lots of changes. J has moved to Colorado and is loving it. Although, I miss him like crazy - I am so proud of him for living out his dream and being true to himself.  I have had one 20 something move out and another 20 something move in.  I faced my biggest relationship fear last week, walked away like a champ, and knew I was exactly where I needed to be.  

One of my biggest fears in the last year, has been looking for a new church home.  I have grown up in my church, and while I love it and what it has given me and my kids - it was no longer the place I needed to be.  I have prayed and prayed over this decision and have asked God to lead us to where we needed to be.  Last Sunday,  K and I sat down in a church and as soon as the service started - I knew I was EXACTLY where I needed to be.  

We need to remember change is not always bad - sometimes it is good.  Sometimes, we may need to remember that our life may not end up the way we thought it would, but we need to pray and ask God to have us exactly where we are meant to be according to His plan.

Sorority...it's not 4 years, it's for life

Each year young women all over the country start the recruitment process to join a sorority.  They are all looking for a place they can call "home." While this seems like such a simple process, it can be very stressful - not only on the girls, but on the mother's.  The girls who are legacies have an added stress of wanting to be "chosen" for at the same sorority their mother, grandmother, or sister's were a part of and the mother, grandmother, or sister is holding their breath while waiting to hear what is happening.  Did they get invited back? Did they get a bid?  To someone who does not understand Greek life this may sound crazy, but for those of us who have lived it - it is perfectly normal.

This week one of my sweet sister's survived the recruitment process with her daughter.  Although, her daughter did not accept a bid, and the process did not turn out the way we had hoped - I learned a lot.  When I went through rush in 1989, my sister was a senior and in a sorority.  After the second round during rush week, her sorority dropped me. Although, I knew they may not be the prefect fit for me - I thought the world was coming to an end.  As the week progressed, I knew exactly where I felt at home and where I belonged.  The fall of 1989, I made one of the best decisions I have ever made and that was to pledge Kappa Delta. We all want our daughters to find the type of friendships we have.  We want them to experience the bonds and the unconditional love. We simply want what is best for them. But as a mother, I have to remember that one day my sweet daughter may find all of those things and more somewhere other than Kappa Delta.

It has now been over 25 years since I pledged, and these ladies are the ones I still lean on to this day. We have been through marriages, divorces, deaths, births, and everything in between.  We are there for each other and love each other unconditionally.  We still get together as often as possible and laugh until it hurts. If you look at each of us - we are completely different in every way. But yet, we are still the best of friends. In my heart, I know God put us together over 25 years ago, because He knew we would need each other later in life.

As you navigate the recruitment process with your daughter, friends, and family -, I think it is important to remember that it is not necessarily the letters that are worn across your chest.  A sorority is about the standards and values you live by every day.  A sorority shows you the importance of giving back, and teaches you about helping others.  It is not about paying for friends, it is about finding a group of women who will support you, motivate you, and challenge you to be your best every day. For me, it is about striving each day to be "that which is honorable, beautiful, and highest."

Growing up the baby...

Growing up as the youngest of 3 kids myself, I know exactly what it was like to be the baby of the family. But... I was not the only girl - I had an older sister with a brother in the middle.  As I have watched my sweet daughter grow up, there is a BIG difference in being the baby and being the baby AND the only girl! Not only is she the baby in our home, she is the youngest of the six grandkids that live here in good 'ole Tennessee. So... with those things in mind, as her birthday is quickly approaching - here are a few things I have learned.  

She is a PRINCESS!  And, for the love of all things holy  - do NOT, and I repeat do NOT try to tell her anything different.  She is and always will be the only princess around.  When she was a baby, I was concerned she may never walk.  When you have a big brother who is seven years older and willing to carry you - why would you?  When they were little, and I would ask J why he was carrying her the response was always, "that's what big brothers do."  Point taken... I let him carry her and sure enough, she did eventually walk.  When the kids were asked to clean their rooms, my boys started right away so they could get finished and go outside.  Not the Princess, she waited until the boys were done - then with the sweetest voice and smile ever asked for help from her "bubbies."  Of course - they cleaned her room!  She loves breakfast in bed!  For the first six years of her life, she did not get out of bed until she has a "fruit bar and cup milk" - that would be a NutriGrain bar just to clarify :) 

She is also the most loving, kindhearted, sweet spirited little girl (I guess not so little anymore) that I have ever met.  She is the most accepting person and loves everyone just as they are, and accepts them for who they are.  She does not have to fit in to the crowd - she marches to the beat of her own drummer.  She is one of the funniest people I know, and definitely has always kept me on my toes.  She is her biggest critic, and is a perfectionist.  At the age of 14, sat down and documented her long term and short term goals.  She is a Jesus lover. When she loves you... she LOVES you - with everything in her. Most of all... she is mine! 

As we get ready to celebrate her birthday this weekend - it is hard to believe that she will be 15.  I could not be more proud of the young lady she is becoming.  She continues to surprise me, make me laugh, and make me proud on a daily basis.  I definitely could not ask for anything more!! 

Growing up...

So... it has happened.  My kids are growing up and I do NOT like it... not one bit! This has been a week full of high school registrations.  K is now a sophomore and C is now a SENIOR!!   J is living and loving life in Colorado, and I am missing him like crazy! How did it happen?? I blinked, and they have grown up! As I walked through the halls at SCHS this week, there are so many memories for me and my kids there.  Watching the interaction of my kids with their teachers, and their friends makes me one proud mom! Listening to teachers and coaches as they stopped me to compliment my kids and their behavior in class, and hearing the stories they tell just made my heart happy.  They are each individuals who have their own personalities, and stand strong in what they believe. They do not waiver or stray, and do not let others influence their opinions.  I could not be more proud of everything they have accomplished in their high school careers and in their lives so far.  They are kind, compassionate, caring, fun-loving, free-spirited, Jesus loving kids who continue to make me proud each day!  They are definitely my pride and joy and biggest accomplishments in life!

Here we go again...

With all the craziness in life, the one thing I have realized is that the more things change  - the more things stay the same.  In our house at the moment, we are in full swing of getting ready for the school year to start.  C is now a senior, and K is a sophomore... how did this happen?  I mean really?? They were just babies yesterday (or so it seems).  Now, we are discussing the next chapter in C's life, and what he wants to do.  Does he want to go to college, go in the military, go to a trade school?  There are so many questions,  and just not enough answers.  It's just weird to think that in less than  a year, he will be graduating from high school and starting the next chapter of his life.  While I am super excited to see where the next chapter in his life takes him, the mom in me does not want to let go. 

On another note...you know the feeling you get when you see a name pop up on your phone, and you just start grinning from ear to ear?  When you see them you get butterflies, and your heart beats a little faster.  Those are the people who make you smile, and laugh and, well... those are the people you want to keep in your life :) 

That's all for now... Happy Tuesday peeps!!

Dating...ugh!!

So...whoever said dating was fun, must have been insane!!  It is hard enough to date in your 20's, but in your 40's and 50's (no... I'm not there yet) - it is almost impossible!!! I have been divorced for about 10 years, and if anyone would have ever told me I would still be single in 10 years - I would have said, "heck no." The funny thing about dating - you never know what you're going to get, and it's always an adventure.  The people that you think would be the perfect partner in crime, are definitely not.  The ones that you think you may have nothing in common with, are sometimes the ones you which you have the most in common. The ones who you thought were trustworthy - are the biggest snakes.  It's just funny... you never know what you're going to get.

I had a conversation today about people and the "types" of people they date and that got me thinking.  I don't really have a type.  I have dated long hair, gray hair, and no hair.  I have dated short, tall and everything in between.  I know I am no longer skinny mini, with long hair.  I know that I am set in my ways, and I know I can be difficult at times (to say the least).    I also know that there are some good guys out there that I haven't given a chance like I should have.  I know that I have a crazy schedule, with kids who have crazy schedules, and that it is hard to make time.  I also truly believe that you make time for ALL things that are important to you.  But, I wouldn't change anything!

So... as I think about my dating life, it is definitely a challenge!  This week, I have another "first date."  They can be dreadful, painful and long! Or... they can be entertaining,  enjoyable, and you could possibly have the time of your life.  This one - I'm looking forward to.  Who knows what will happen?  I will find out soon.  I can tell you that I will never settle for anything less than what I think is perfect (regardless of what others think).

To all my friends who know me ( and laugh at me) - I still believe in fairy tales and happily ever afters and that will NEVER change!

Things I am thankful for...

This morning, I woke up at 4:13am (to be exact), and was unable to go back to sleep.  At first, I was angry that I was awake and couldn't go back to sleep.  Then... I started thinking (which can be a scary thing at times). I began by planning out my day at the office, and thinking about my job. Then, i started thinking about how much I love my job.  And... I don't say that lightly.  I actually look forward to going to my office every day.  I LOVE what I do.  I love that I am actually friends with my co-workers, and we really do LIKE each other!  

My next thought was about my friends.  I have realized the older I get it really doesn't matter how many friends you have - what matters the most is the ones that remain by your side through thick and thin.  The ones who love you regardless of the mistakes you make.  The ones who will tell you the truth when you need to hear it (even if it hurts). The ones that can make you laugh so hard you think you may pee your pants. The ones who you can call at 3:00am, and will pick up the phone and listen for as long as it takes.  The ones who support your crazy decisions, and then are there to pick-up the pieces when everything falls apart (just like they warned you they would).  Those are the friends that I love! 

As I got up and started moving, I looked at my textbook and I thought, "wow... I have homework."  Who decides to go back to school time in their 40's?  This girl... that's who!  As I sat and looked at my book, my next thought was I have 8 more classes to go, and I will be finished.  I will finally finish what I started in 1989. Then, I am immediately thankful that I have the opportunity to do this!  As tough as it may be at times, a single mom, working crazy hours, kids, sports, and school full-time - I would not change a thing! 

The one word that sums my life up... BLESSED!

Life lessons: Friends and Sisterhood...

This has been a really weird week (for lack of better terms).  There are some things that happened, that I don’t really understand, and probably never will.  I have learned or have been reminded about several important lessons in life this week.  The first being… family isn’t always blood.  Yes, we all have those blood relatives that support you regardless, stand behind you and always have your back - but then… you have those people who you choose to be your family.  The friends that are there through thick and thin, the kids you choose to “adopt,” – the ones you know will never let you down… they are family, and you love them like they are your own.  You support them and love them unconditionally – even when you may not like what they do.  You support them because they are family – and that is what you do!

The second lesson is on friendship.  Friends are not always perfect… they may disappoint you and let you down. They may choose to walk away, and you have to accept that.  Friendships have to be built on mutual respect for one another, and should be unconditional.  Friendships should not be selfish – if they are… they don’t last. The other friendship reminder I received was – you don’t have to see or talk to someone every day to be friends.  You can go for months or even years and pick up right where you left off – like a beat was never missed. They are the friends that when you are having a tough day, you pick up the phone, they meet you for a drink, and make you laugh until you almost pee your pants!  They listen, and let you vent – they never judge.  They love you unconditionally for who you are – when you are wearing shorts that have holes, your hair is a mess, and did not have any sleep the night before (yep.. true story).  They love you just as you are - I am especially grateful for this friend today!

The third lesson is… we are all human, and we all make mistakes.  Regardless of our title, our position, or our place in life – we are human.   We are not perfect.  We all make mistakes.  The key is to learn from those mistakes so they are not duplicated over and over.  This one has been especially hard for me this week. Sometimes we have to remember that God has a way of protecting us, and we should not question this. We should do what is right, regardless of how hard it is.  

The last thing I was reminded of… is how grateful I am for my sorority sisters.  In 1989, I pledged Kappa Delta and chose to “strive for that which is honorable, beautiful, and highest.”  These ladies are my sisters in every sense of the word. They are the most supportive group of women I know.  They are my prayer warriors, cheerleaders, and biggest supporters.  They are my sounding board, and shoulder to cry on.  They are always there if/when needed.  I have said it before, and I am saying it again – when God put us all together 25+ years ago, it was not a mistake.  He knew we would need each other later in life.  This weekend it was proven, that not only are my sisters there for me, they are always present regardless of what country they live in, and can even make time for a phone call (even in the Dominican Republic).  I would not trade this group of ladies for the world, and am forever grateful for each one of them.

So… these are the simple life lessons I was reminded of this week.  Most importantly – I was reminded of how much I truly LOVE my people!!

Listening vs. hearing...

How many times do you give advice?  You give advice to your friends, family, children and even co-workers. But… when someone gives you advice do you really listen? I was talking with a friend last night, and it was brought up that I was great at giving advice – just not following it.  What?!?  You have got to be kidding me!  I listen to everything people say to me.   After he left, I got to thinking - I know I hear what people say to me, but do I really LISTEN?   There is a big difference. 

After I began thinking about this, I started thinking about my relationship with God.  I pray and ask for God’s guidance – but, do I really LISTEN to His answers? And, why is this such a hard concept? Is it because we are impatient? Yes.  Is it because we think we know best? Yes.  At times, it is very difficult to put aside our thoughts and feelings about the way we think things should be, and follow God’s plan. Not only do we not listen, we worry about things that we shouldn’t, or things that are out of our control. We need to pray and turn everything over to Him.

Phillipians 4: 6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” While this seems like such a simple solution – it’s not. It is hard. It is hard not to listen to all of those around you, and just focus on His answers.  It is hard when life throws you curve balls, and chaos breaks out to take a step back and put your trust in Him. I would encourage each person this week to pray and put your trust in Him and see what happens. You might be amazed by the results!

Happiness or joy...

It's funny how things turn out in life sometimes.  We all have our day to day routines, we go to the same places... we talk to the same people - and then one day out of the blue you receive a text or phone call that has the possibility of changing your life. As you start talking, you discover that everyone has their own baggage (for lack of a better word), that they are carrying around. You realize that sometimes circumstances out of your control have the ability to change your life. You realize you have to learn how to be alone and content by yourself....no spouse, no kids - just you. As the weeks pass and you begin talking to that person - you realize we are all human beings who have made mistakes, who want to be loved unconditionally, and who want to be accepted for who they are. Those things seems so simple... yet, they are not.

As weeks have passed, and we have continually spent time together and talked - the discussion of happiness came up, and the comment was made, "I don't want just happiness in my every day life - I want joy."  How very true this is! As we talked about it for a few minutes, and then I continued to ponder - yes, I want to be happy, but ultimately - I want joy!  When you think about happiness it can be dependent on the circumstances that surround us.  True joy comes from within - it is not dependent on external factors or circumstances. True joy comes from things like faith in our Lord, and brings contentment.

Over the past 3 months, there have been a lot of changes in my life.  K finished up her freshman year of high school, C finished his junior year, and J took off on the adventure of a lifetime.  J has now settled in Montrose, CO and is working on a farm, and living his dream - he is taking in and learning as much as he can. It is truly an amazing gift to be able to watch my kids grow up, chase their dreams, find out who they are as individuals and grow into the adults they are becoming. All they want out of life is to be loved and happy. But, when I think about what I want for my kids, what I want for myself, and what I want for my loved ones - I want them to have JOY! So, as the days, weeks, and months pass  - my prayer is for my loved ones to find JOY! 

"May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13

Unconditional love...

This morning, after I was finished with my quiet time and I was online looking around - I read the following, and it really hit home...

"Unconditional love stays steady despite the circumstances. It believes the best and sees the loved one for who that person can be, rather than who that person is right now. Much of the time, love is undeserved.  That's what makes God's love for us a perfect love. Let's stop trying to "be perfect" and instead embrace "being perfected," as we learn to love more like Jesus each and every day." 

There are very few things in the life that everyone wants, but...I do believe that everyone wants unconditional love.  Your kids want to know that you love them forever and always - regardless of any mistakes they make. Even as an adult, you want to know that your parents will always love you - regardless of poor choices you may make.  You always have friends, that whether you agree with their opinions or actions - you will always support them.  You know that you love them, and you are choosing to support them - regardless of whether you agree.  That is what friends do!  We are not perfect - and we will never be perfect.  Why is this so hard to remember sometimes?

Life is hard!  We are imperfect beings. We all want love and acceptance, but yet at times... something so simple can seem so difficult. We can be harder on ourselves than anyone else will ever be (I know I am), we can be judgmental, and we can be harsh on others.  Sometimes we need to step back, look at the circumstances, and know that people believe in us - even when we don't believe in ourselves. We need to remember we are not perfect, and are being perfected every day!  Unconditional love is knowing all of the persons faults and shortcomings, and loving the person anyway!

So... as we all go through daily struggles, remember -  " Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of then, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6. 

Some things never change...

Yesterday was a long day!  It was a day of travel, cramped airplanes, and a lot of hurrying up to wait. But... last night when I got to dad's house - it was perfect!  I walked in the door, and got the biggest hug EVER from J, JD, and from my dad!  Every long minute of the day was worth it! I took time to visit, and then I went to bed - I was exhausted.

This morning I got up early...6:30am.  I came down the stairs and started looking around.  I sat down and went through photo albums dad had saved through the years... looking at photos of his life, and all of the memories he has made. He has every photo we have sent him over the years of the kids, he has paintings the kids have made him hanging on the walls, and he has cross stitch patterns that I made when I was little still proudly displayed in his kitchen.

There is something about this house... so much has changed over the years but, when I walk into this house it is always the same. This house IS my dad and all things that are him! 

April 30...

April 30 is a day I will never forget. Not only did I become a mother for the first time, I became an aunt.  My heart was full, and my life was changed forever!

Tomorrow is J's 22nd birthday... it will also be the first birthday in his 22 years that he is not here.  I will not get to sing happy birthday in the morning, I will not get to have a birthday dinner, and I will not get to hug his sweet neck and tell him I love him.  But...while I am here, he is out living life to the fullest and this makes my heart happy!   I could not be more proud of the loving man, brother, cousin, grandson and son he has become.  His free spirit is something I admire, and his love for others is contagious.  He is getting to wake up on his 22nd birthday living out his dreams!

Not only is tomorrow J's birthday, it is also my nephew B's birthday. I could not imagine not having this sweet boy in my life - I love him like he is one of my own. J & B have been partners in crime for their whole lives,and not only are they cousins... they are friends!   B is living out his own dream of a music career, and I can assure you I will be there cheering him on every step of the way, and will always be his #1 fan.

These boys not only changed my life, they have changed the lives of others while proudly displaying their love for their family, friends and God.  Happy Birthday to you both!!

And his adventure begins...

For anyone who knows my kids... they are all three completely different!  I have a free spirit, a happy go lucky one, and a princess.  AND... I would not change any of them for anything!  About 6 months ago, J began talking about his dreams and what he wanted to do. It was a very simple dream... he wanted to travel and see the country.  As a parent, I thought - perfect, go ahead, get on a plane and explore.  Well... that is not exactly what happened.  On April 10, after one last family photo (we all know how I love pictures) -  J pulled out of the driveway in his truck for the adventure of a lifetime.  He was on his way to meet a friend in Telluride, and backpack/hike the western United States. 

 

As he got in the truck that morning, he turned around one last time and said "I love you mom" - and he was off.  I stopped myself all morning from calling and checking on him, I knew he would be fine on his own, but it was REALLY hard to let him go.  He called a few hours into the drive just to let me know it was going good and he was well on his way.  He called again when he reached Topeka, KS that night to let me know his plan and where he was going to stay so I would not worry. Then, he called one last time that night to let me know the adventure had started.  He pulled into a hotel for the night in Salina, KS - after checking in and getting settled in his room, he opened the door to go back to his truck.  He did not expect what he saw next - a body bag (yes... a dead person) being removed from the room next to him.   I got a phone call shortly after and he said, "mom.... can you just talk for a minute?"  We talked for about 30 minutes, and I was completely thrilled that for just a minute - he still needed his mom.   

On Tuesday, April 14 - I received a photo letting me know he was in Colorado and all was good. Telluride is on the other side of this valley.

On Saturday, April 18, he let me know he had been in the desert in Moab, UT for four days and he was on to the Arches National Park.  It has now been two weeks, and I sure am missing that kid.  But... I am so happy and excited that he is making memories that will last a lifetime!

Roots and wings...

The older my kids get, the more I refer back to this quote as a parent:

"There are two gifts we should give our children: one is ROOTS, the other is WINGS"

This seems like such a simple concept, except... it's not!  I look at my kids, and I am so proud of each one of them.  They are each different, unique, and special in their own way.  I have tried very hard to always accept them for what they are, and encourage them to follow their dreams.  My oldest son is a free spirit in every sense of the word.  He has a great passion for life, and lives every day and minute to the fullest.  I look at him, and admire everything he has figured out in life at such a young age.  He is truly an inspiration to me, and makes me realize that life is too short not to be happy and follow your dreams.   He is a friend to everyone he meets, and would give you the shirt off his back. He is an amazing son, grandson, cousin, nephew and big brother.

In the next 3 weeks, he will begin the adventure of a lifetime.  I am so excited for him and wish him all the happiness in the world. So...as he is preparing for his journey, I am preparing as well.  I know he has roots....now, he is spreading his wings. 

Advice from Mr. Rogers...

When I was little, I would watch Mr. Rogers Neighborhood - it truly was one of the best children's shows of all times.  I wish Mr. Rogers had been around when my kids were little.  Last night, a friend of mine posted a quote on Facebook from Mr. Rogers and I got to thinking...how many mistakes could be avoided in life, or how many bad decisions could have turned into good ones IF we had taken the advice of Mr. Rogers.  So... here are several things he taught us when we were little, that hold just as much (if not more) value today.

• Love and accept others for who they are. "Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." ~ Fred Rogers
• Listen with our ears and our hearts. "In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” ~ Fred Rogers
• Forgive always. “Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life's important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.”  ~ Fred Rogers
• Build caring relationships. “Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”~ Fred Rogers
• Work out your differences and respect others views. “It's very dramatic when two people come together to work something out. It's easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.”  ~ Fred Rogers
• Be kind to others. “There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” ~ Fred Rogers
• Always do your best. “Some days, doing "the best we can" may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn't perfect on any front-and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else.”  ~ Fred Rogers
• Always be yourself. “As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has- or ever will have- something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.”  ~ Fred Rogers

Happy Sunday y'all!

Looking back and forward...

This morning, I am in my happy place (my kitchen) sipping coffee and reflecting on 2014.  This year has flown by, and has taken many twists and turns. It has been a year of great success for my kids and my "bonus kids".  For those of you who don't know - my "bonus kids" are the three I have known for most (or all) of their lives and love like my own.  They have lived in my house, celebrated birthdays and holidays, my kids consider them their brothers and sisters.  So... this has been a great year for all six! Just a few of the milestones - one turned 16 and got his first truck, one made the high school volleyball team, one got engaged, two have gotten their own apartment/house and one has gotten baptized and recommitted his life.  For me...I have gotten a promotion at work and have successfully completed another year of college while working and raising kids.  All in all - 2014 has been a great year!

2014 was also a year of firsts!  The BIG first...this was the first year spending Christmas without my sister in 43 years (my whole life)!  For some, that may not seem like a big deal - but...it is for me!  All who know me, know I do not like change - at all!  I didn't realize how much I missed my sister being there until at Christmas dinner mom was telling a story, and I realized I needed my big sister for support and for her to take my side (because I know she would have). It was the first Christmas Eve in 9 years that I did not sit in between my sweet nieces at the Christmas Eve service.  It was the first time since B has been born that I was not with her on her birthday.  On the flip side, it was the first Christmas Eve J and I had a nice Christmas Eve dinner with my parents.  It was the first time in 9 years that C & K were able to attend the Christmas Eve service with us (because we changed the service attended).

As I look ahead to 2015 and what it may hold, I am excited.  I am excited about having met new people and reconnecting with old friends, and seeing how those relationships grow. I am excited about my job, and the differences I can make in helping entrepreneurs succeed and about new co-workers joining our team. I cannot wait to see how my kids grow this year - C will start his senior year of high school and K will get her driver's permit.  Yep... this is gonna be a big year!  

As I think about all of the things to come in 2015, I know that I must turn it all over to God and trust in His timing (not my own). I know nothing great can be accomplished without Him.  So, I will pray on a daily basis that I am living my life according to His will and I will remember Philippians 4:6...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Happy New Year y'all!