How many times in your life have you simply wondered if God is listening and hears your prayers? And... if He is hearing them - why are you not getting the answers you want? For some reason, this is one of the hardest concepts for me to grasp at times. Although, I know that He hears my prayers - there are times when it is really hard to figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing. I have always said, "maybe he should just burn the answer in my front yard - then i will know exactly what I'm supposed to do." A couple of months ago I decided to begin keeping a prayer journal, and then as my prayers were answered - I would highlight them. Y'all - you would not believe how many answered prayers there really are!! I knew God answers prayers - but to see them answered and have documentation in black and white is absolutely amazing! In 1 John 5: 14-15 we are told, "And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him." I think so many times we get caught up in demanding what we want from God, that we forget it is about what He wants for us. Seriously... what would our lives all be like if we constantly strive to do what He wants us to do - instead of what we want to do? I'm pretty sure that my life would be different. As I look through my prayer journal, I can see that He has given me answers... yes or no. And, for the ones that are still waiting to be highlighted - well, it's not that He has forgotten about them. Maybe...it is that He is using these things to teach me patience (which I need a lot of) and reminding me to put my trust in Him.
When C enlisted in the Army, I knew there would be a lot of firsts. There would be the first night without him at home, the first holiday he missed, the first school function for K. I am still preparing for the first big holiday season... Thanksgiving and Christmas. Last week was a big first for me - C's first birthday away from home. And, to make matters worse - he still doesn't have an address where I could send him presents. Although - he really didn't care... I did. It's a mom thing!!! So...I did what any mom would do when her child is almost 4,000 miles from home - I used the power of social media and found someone to deliver a birthday cake to Fairbanks, Alaska on post. The one thing I have figured out in the last six months is that there is not much that an army of Army moms cannot figure out!Today, was another first that I wasn't prepared for - the first birthday that C and my niece, B, are not together for her birthday. And honestly - today it hit me like a ton of bricks. Normally, these two would be going to lunch, acting silly, and making me laugh until I almost pee in my pants. When I look at mine and my sisters kids - I am so very thankful and blessed that not only are they cousins...they are best friends. They are abnormally close, and they genuinely like and love each other. They are there to encourage each other, support each other, and just simply be there for each other in this crazy thing called life. This morning, I sent C a text and said, "hey, don't forget it's B's birthday" and his response was, "how could I forget my best friends birthday?" Y'all - I was in tears. Then came the Instagram post - and there were more tears! I cannot even tell you guys just how much I miss the little things! I miss my soldier and I watching these sweet kids (young adults) together! I know there are going to be many more firsts over the next six months, and I know people say that things will get easier, but...we will see. So for now, I pray that we will all adjust to the new normal and that we will all have peace as things keep changing.
