Over the last few weeks, as people have found out that C has enlisted in the Army and was sworn in - there have been lots of questions from friends and loved ones. These questions have been asked a million times, "Are you okay with this?" and "Are you scared?" The answer to both of these questions is YES! Yes, I am okay with the decision he has made to defend our country and protect our freedom. Yes, as a mom I am scared. And honestly - what mom wouldn't be? Along with me being scared - I am also absolutely, 100%, completely proud of his decision!
I have tried to raise my children to think for themselves, believe in themselves, stand up for what is right, and I have encouraged them to follow their dreams. I have provided a home where we pray for each other, cheer each other on, and believe in each other. And most importantly - we LOVE each other... and we love big!
On January 17, as a family - we will go and watch C get on a bus to start a new chapter in his life. He will be leaving for Basic Combat Training and AIT, and I know that for 15 weeks, my child will get the best training the United States Army has available. And yes - I will be okay with it and scared all at the same time. I also know that when I get to Ft. Benning at the end of this for graduation - I will see a drastic change in him as a person. He will have grown up from a little boy to a soldier almost overnight. And, while he is gone - he will know that he has the unconditional love and support of his crazy family waiting for him at home!
So...I'm sure the next 20 days are going to fly by. I am asking for each of your to keep my sweet C in your prayers (and for that matter - our whole family). This is definitely going to be an adjustment for all of us, but we are ready! And... just know - that I will probably need a hug if I run into you and chances are, I may cry. So - all of my friends and family have been warned! :)
You always hear it takes a village to raise your children, and I am so very thankful for my village who have loved on my sweet kids through the years! You are all loved!!
As a single mom, there are many daily challenges that have to be faced. You are juggling work, kids schedules, paying the bills, going to church, laundry, feeding dogs, taking out trash, cleaning, and oh... you still need to visit and spend time with family - and there are approximately 10 million other things going on at the same time. And, somewhere in the middle of this - you may actually want 5 minutes to yourself! There are days when you want to scream and yell... and you do! And... then there are days you are so proud of those little people that you cannot stand it. There are also the days when they are younger, that you deal with the fits and tantrums and then just like that... they decide they don't really hate you & you are the one that gets all of the bear hugs, kisses and the I love you's!
I have been a single mom for over 10 years, and I must say - it has been one of the most challenging and one of the most rewarding things I have ever done! I have watched my 3 blessings turn into these amazing adults (and one almost adult). They are caring, kind hearted, funny and they are each completely different. I have encouraged each of them to follow their dreams, and live each day to the fullest. Now... I must say - when I say "follow your dreams," it is not always the easiest on me. But, I do believe it is not my place to judge them - it is my place to support them unconditionally so they know they are loved!
WIth that being said.. you expect your kids to go to school, graduate, and then go to college (if only it were that easy). I have one that is a free spirit, who has a great job, a house, and is living life to the fullest each day. I have one who is in high school, with all of her goals set out before her. And then...I have the other one. My sweet, baby faced C! We had talked about the options in the military before, but when he started school in the fall - I thought that thought was officially over. But... not so much! I got a phone call that went like this, "Mom... I'm on my way to talk to an Army recruiter." Y'all... I can't tell you how many emotions went through me at one time. I cried, I got excited, and I was so super proud I couldn't contain myself. Going through this process has been a whirlwind of emotions. I am watching my sweet baby boy grow up right before my eyes. It is crazy! I have watched him take full responsibility completing everything that is needed, and going to tell him family members personally about his decision. I am looking at him (knowing he is grown), and yet I still see him as a little baby! Y'all it's crazy!! Each day we are a step closer to him leaving, and each day I grow more proud and my heart hurts just a little more - all at the same time! I can honestly say, that going into the military is one of the most selfless things an individual can do! So...if you see me in the next few days, just know that I may burst into tears, and I will most definitely need a hug!
I have friends ask me all the time, "Isn't being a single parent hard?", "Do you ever just need a break?" They answer to both of those questions is... YES!! It is hard and you do need a break! But... I can tell you, it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done and when I look at my kids - I am so proud of each of them, and I love them more than life!!
So... the weeks in between Thanksgiving and Christmas are my favorite! The Christmas tree goes up, Christmas music is playing, K and I get new fuzzy Christmas socks (corny...but we LOVE them), coffee is in Christmas coffee cups and we get to spend extra time with family and friends. They are the weeks where everyone is in the holiday spirit and if you are in my house - you just might walk into random dance parties while Kenny & Dolly's Christmas CD is blaring throughout.
One of my favorite things about the holidays is tradtion! I am a HUGE tradidtion person (and, if you know me - this does not surprise you) - I hate change. I like to know at Thanksgiving we will go to my sister's (although this year we went to mom's), and we are going to eat the same meal we have eaten for years before. I like to know that at Christmas, we are going to the Christmas Eve candlelight service at church, we are going to mom's and presents will be opened at approximately 9:00pm, we we all go home and reconvene the next morning for brunch at mom's. I love that we have the same food, the same desserts, and I know exactly what to expect. For me, there is something about going back to my childhood home - that is the one place that is never changing...it is my favorite!
So...let's talk about my friends - they are the best EVER!! For me, the best friends are the ones that become family. They are the ones that when you have to go out of town unexpectedly - they welcome your kids into their home in your absence. They are the ones that show up unexpectedly, and are right at home. They walk in to your home, are completely comfortable, they love on your babies (and your fur babies), and nobody misses a beat. They are the ones that you laugh and cry with, the ones that you ride down the road and you may or may not be singing the wrong lyrics to a song at the top of your lungs. And...out of all the people in the world - I think mine are the best!
I love that after Christmas, the New Year rolls around and we have a chance to reflect on the year before and make resolutions and changes to our lives for the new year - we are able to set new goals and refocus. As much as I love tradition, and all of the things that surround the holiday season - I love that we are celebrating Jesus' birthday the most! Jesus was born, and years later was crucified, and rose again on the third day. I love that the ultimate sacrifice was made for me, and I am forgiven for all of my sins, when I do not deserve it. I have eternal life!
So, in all the craziness of the hustle and bustle, the presents being opened, family coming and going - be sure to stop and take a minute to remember the real reason for the season!
Have you ever had one of those days, months, or even years where everything seems to go wrong? Nothing goes right. You seem to be challenged every day and you are at a loss. What should you do next? Well.. the past six months have been just that for me. We have had a very trying year. It started on Mother's Day when my mom had an accident and that came with months of recovery. Then approximately a month ago, my sweet step-daddy had a heart attack and scared us all to death. After us thanking God for letting him stay with us, he was taken to surgery and the problem was fixed. Then...this week, my sweet daddy was brought to the hospital on Thursday and was admitted for heart problems. it is just too much some days!
As I sit here typing, I am sitting at the hospital in Salem, OR with my sister and dad as we wait for him to have open heart surgery tomorrow morning. We have talked to the cardiologist, and the cardiac surgeon and they have been very straight forward about the risk of complications during surgery. They have explained what will happen, and they have told us how long to expect the surgery to take. They have prepared us as much as they can. Now...we enjoy our "slumber party" in the hospital room, and spend time with dad. Tomorrow morning, they will come get him about 7:30am (9:30am CST) and we will wait and pray. They have told us that surgery will take 4 1/2 - 6 hours without complications, and they have also told us that they expect complications. So... we will pray without ceasing.
In Isaiah 41:10i it says, "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." This is the verse that I will I will remember. And,,, if you could please say a prayer for my sweet daddy, his doctors, Lisa and I, and our sweet kids who are struggling with being 2,000 miles away - it would be greatly appreciated.
I have always been told that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime. I have also been told that as you grow older that you will be able to count your true friends on one hand. I have been taught that above all else, you should ALWAYS pray about everything, and seek His will first. And, if you do this...the outcome will always be what it should. I have not always taken advice, and sometimes (believe it or not) I am not very good at listening. As I get older, I realize that all of these things are so very important.
As a mom, you want your kids to have the kind of friends who will always have their back and are always there for them. As a friend, I want to be the best one I can be. I also try to always be honest and not hurt people's feeling along the way - but, I can tell you that does not always happen. I have watched people who I love struggle lately with friendships and people who have let them down - and it breaks my heart to watch them as they come to the realization that those people are not who they thought they were.
So, what is the true meaning of friendship? For some, it is that one person who is always there and never leaves your side. For others, it may be finding that one person who almost knows you better than you know yourself and who ALWAYS has your best interest at heart.
Friendship can mean so many things to people, and everyone's definition is probably different. Friendship can look different with each relationship. I have one friend that I have known since the day I was born, and although we may not talk on a daily, weekly, or heck...even monthly basis - I know she is ALWAYS there if needed. I have a friend where we have a designated time each week to have a proper catch up session, and that time is dearly treasured. I also have a friend that I talk to on a daily basis - this is my partner in crime, my ability to stay grounded, and the cold harsh truth when no one else has the guts or want to tell you what you need to hear. I also have friends who I see once a year for a girls trip - these are the people who may not be in my every day life, but they are treasured! These are the friends who you are 100% completely yourself, no censorship needed that love you unconditionally always! Not only are we bound by a sisterhood (Kappa Delta), but we have almost 30 years of friendship behind us!
Friendship looks different to everyone! So...regardless of what friends you have or what kind of friend you are - you should always be the best you can be! You don't ever know what others are going through, so be kind always! Give someone a big 'ole hug - you never know when that may be the one thing that turns their day around!
A big shout out to all of my friends who love me daily! I could not do life without you guys!! v
"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
As I sit here and reflect on the past year - I am amazed at the moment's that God has had his hand on me and my life. At this very moment one year ago, I was sitting in the critical care unit at Sumner Regional Medical Center and trying to wrap my head around what was happening. At 12:48am, on September 17 I received a phone call asking if D was home. My response was let me go check. When I got out of bed, I heard the doorbell ringing. I was definitely not prepared for what I saw next. As I rounded the corner from my bedroom, through my kitchen, and into my den - when I turned to the right, I saw D laying on the couch almost unconscious. I will leave out the rest of the gory details, because honestly... they are just not important. As I knelt beside her and called 911, I could not believe what was happening. How could she attempt to take her life? What was going on, and how had I missed the warning signs? As the police showed up, and then the ambulance - I was in shock. K was standing in her door watching everything in awe while I was trying to wrap my head around the whirlwind. The paramedics put her in the ambulance, and K and I got in the car and followed them to the hospital. We went into the ER, and the nurses told us we would not be able to see her due to her being unstable. What??? How at the lowest point in a person's life could her loved ones not be around her to let her know that we care??? As I sat in the waiting room and made phone calls, K and I began to pray. That was the only thing we could do...we were completely helpless! The nurse came out (as promised) to give us an update. When she looked at me, she said, "Are you Lori?" I said, "Yes." She said, "I'm not sure if you remember me or not, but I was your replacement at Moore and Associates when you went on maternity leave. Since I know you, come on back with me." Y'all... I had not seen this person in over 17 years and she remembered me!!!
I went back to the room to see D, and we sat and cried and prayed, and dealt with the situation the best we could (again, leaving out the gory details). As they got ready to move her to CCU, the original nurse told us we would not be able to go with her - that they would contact us at a later time. When transport came, the kindest man looked at me and said, "Are you ready?" I told him that I was under the impression that we were not allowed to go and he said, "Sweetheart, you have been through enough." Y'all... a sweet man that I had never known took mercy on us! Before we were moved to CCU, I had been told there were strict rules, and no one was allowed to stay under the circumstances.. Guess what?? We got to the room, and got D settled and this sweet nurses aide, said, "Would you like a bed so you can stay?" It was about 7:30am on September 17, and I had not had sleep in over 24 hours - I was tired and exhausted and couldn't even think straight. The nurses were changing shifts, and when our daytime nurse came to introduce herself - I could not have been more pleased. She said, "I'm Wendy... I will be your nurse today." I don't know how to explain what happened next, except it was God. This sweet woman who I had not known 5 minutes hugged D and I, and became our biggest advocate over the next few days. Our nurses aide, Jessica, sat down on her knees and gave us her testimony.
On day 3, we were told that D was being moved to a stabilization unit in Cookeville, and that she would have to go by police escort to get there. As we met with the mobile crisis unit, the social worker came out and said, "Would you like to drive her?" All I could do was cry, "of course - I would like to drive her." We were released that day, and we made the drive to Cookeville. For the next few days... I made that drive during visiting hours, and D and I talked and she constantly had her Bible that my mom had given her. We brought her home, and that is when the tough stuff began. None of the past year had been easy, but I am so thankful that when I look back - I can see God's hand in ALL of it! There were doors opened for us that should have never been opened, and kind people made exceptions that should have never been made. I know that I serve a mighty God, who has a plan for ALL things!
These are the basics of my story, and if anyone is struggling and would like to hear the rest - I am willing to share. I cannot explain everything that happened over the weeks that followed - there is no explanation except for God! Today, this sweet girl is thriving and has had a great year. No one has ever said it was easy, but it is worth it! I cannot express the gratitude and thankfulness for those who came and sat at the hospital, brought food, prayed with us, and simply loved on us and my sweet kids! While, our story has a happy ending, I am aware that some do not. September is Suicide Awareness Month... if anyone you know has talked about or considered suicide - do not take it lightly. Suicide is the silent killer. Please, if you or anyone you know EVER needs help, needs someone to talk to or just to pray with - I am always here!
This morning, as I sit and think about the past two weeks, there are several things that are on my mind. I have said it before, and I have said it again - my life has truly been blessed beyond measure. I have the best friends that I can trust and they are always there, I have three amazing children who surprise me on a daily basis, and I have a family that is more supportive than anyone could have ever hoped for or imagined. As I look at my life over the last couple of years, there are lots of mistakes that have been made and there are lots of good things that have happened. There have been a lot of accomplishments and there have been a lot of shortcomings - these things are just part of life.
As I sit here drinking coffee, listening to what He has to say, I was led to Romans 12. The following portion of this chapter really hit home this morning:
Romans 12:9-21 (NLT) 9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection,[a] and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.[b] 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! 17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. 19 Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,“I will take revenge; I will pay them back,”[c] says the Lord. 20 Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”[d] 21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
Wouldn't it be a great world to live in, if we could all live by this principle? What would happen if instead of running people in the ground, we lifted them up? If instead of talking about them, we prayed for them? If someone hurt us, we prayed for not only our healing - but theirs as well? What kind of difference would be made if we were truly happy for everyone's accomplishments?
So... I would challenge everyone this week to remember these words and try to live by them, and change the world one person at a time!!
There are many storms that we face in life, and unfortunately - as much as we want to predict what is going to happen... we can't. We don't really know what is going to happen one minute from now - much less one hour, one day, one month, or one year from now. One year ago today, we visited (our now church home) Freedom Church for the first time. My family had been struggling and looking for a new church home for a while. When you have grown up in the same church your whole life - it is hard to make a change...even when you know that is not where God is telling you to be. After being in class with Pastor T and Kevin, I knew I would be visiting their church. From the moment we walked in, we first sat down, and the music started – I knew we were where we needed to be. We had found our new church home! Our first week was the beginning of the series on doubt – for me, it completely hit home. Over the 3 weeks of that series, I began to pray like no other and really focus on getting my life and relationship right with Christ - the way I knew it should be. Little did I know at that time, that He was preparing me for the events to come.
On September 17, 2016 – we had a life changing event. I woke up at 12:48 am on September 17 to my doorbell and phone ringing. When I got up to see what was going on – I was not prepared for what I found. D (who was living with me at the time) had attempted to take her life, and I found her in my den… laying on my couch. In the hours and days to follow, I didn’t know what to do except to pray. I prayed, prayed and then prayed some more. We got her stable and out of CCU, and moved her to stabilization unit in Cookeville. On Saturday, when I went to visit her I took her a Bible - my mom and I had marked some scripture that had helped us through tough times. I told her that God had a greater plan for her and that she was still here for a reason. I didn’t know what it was and neither did she, but encouraged her to pray and read the Bible and see what scripture God led her to. Although, D had gone to church from time to time – she never had that real relationship with God.
That next Sunday was the first of the Inside Out Series… JOY. I sat down in church that morning, completely broken – and Pastor T gave me hope. For the next 3 weeks, each Sunday morning – I knew God was speaking directly to me through him. The next Sunday, I got up and 2 of my kids were sick and one had been in an ATV accident Friday, and everything in me wanted to go back to bed. I walked downstairs, woke D up, and said – let’s get moving, church is calling. She looked at me and groaned, got up and said okay. And… we were off. I cannot explain to you the feeling in me when Pastor T started preaching. God used him to give my sweet girl the EXACT message she needed to hear! She has been struggling and hurting for so long. Pastor T was an answer to prayer!! Over the next 30 days, we had ups and downs, and continue to have them on a daily basis. I can truly look back now (almost a year later) at the 911 call, the ER staff, the days and nights in CCU, and the days since we have been home and I can see God’s hand in every detail, even in the worst of situations.
I say all of this now, as we finished up a series call "Puzzled" this morning. Last week Pastor T said, "you may not be able to see it, but God has his hands on you." This is so very true, but it is so hard to see sometime. So, when we are all worrying about the doubts of today, we must trust in God's tomorrow. The past 2 weeks have been a great reminder for me of everything we have overcome in the past 11 months, and everything we will still need to overcome. As we were reminded this morning, "faith never makes things easy, faith makes things possible."
There are so many things I am grateful for where my church is concerned. I am forever grateful, for God putting Pastor T and Kevin in class with me, at just the right time! I am grateful for having a church family and staff who truly care. I am forever grateful for Chad and him continually inviting K to The Edge on Wednesday nights - and not giving up. There are words to express just how grateful I am and how much love I have for my church family!
Sixteen years ago my life changed forever! I went from being the mom of 2 boys, to being the mom of 2 boys and a GIRL! As I sat in the hospital waiting for the sassy bundle of joy to be born... I was still convinced she would be a boy (even though the doctor's told me different). I had no idea what to do with a girl - I was a boy mom!! What would I do if she had hair? Would I ever want a bow in it? Would she forever wear t-shirts and shorts like the boys? I had no idea what to do with her! But... I learned.
From the time she was born, she stole the hearts of everyone in the house, and she had her brothers (or at least J) wrapped around her little finger. From the time we brought her home, he would pick her up and just hold her - because that's what big brothers do. When I would tell the kids to clean their room, J & C would clean promptly - the princess would sit and wait on J to come to her rescue and yes... he always did! He cleaned her room each week. When she was old enough to walk, she never had to... why, you ask?? Because J carried her! She would sit in her bed each morning and scream in her sassy way, "I need a fruit bar and milk." And every morning, me or the boys would serve the princess breakfast in bed. It seems like just overnight, she grew up!
Now, when I look at her I see the beautiful young lady she is growing up to be. She is just as beautiful inside as she is on the outside. She is kind hearted and always kind to everyone. She is not afraid to speak her mind. If you're lucky enough to be her friend, she is loyal to a fault and she will love you unconditionally. She will love on you and laugh with you. She will make you laugh until you want to pee in your pants! She is the biggest bear hugger of all times, and she is also the queen of "i want someone to rub my head." She is the lover of all animals big and small. She loves her WHOLE family, and more importantly she loves God. She makes me want to be a better person and a better mother on a daily basis. Regardless of anything else, she is my princess and she will always be my baby girl.
Happy Sweet Sixteen K!!! Always know you are loved!!
It is a rainy Friday morning, and I have been sitting here with C & K enjoying our lazy morning. As I am sitting here with two pups and two kids, I have been thinking about my birthday month and what an amazing month it has been! The past 30 days have been filled with more family, friends, love, hugs, and laughter than I could have ever imagined! And honestly... I could not be more thankful or blessed!
This has been a month of mended relationships, and reminders that each one of us is human, and each one of us make mistakes. It has been a month of forgiveness and open-mindedness and a month of new relationships being born, This has been a month of completing life long goals, and accomplishing things I never thought I could. It has been a month of friends who need each other and are there for each other, if for nothing more than a dance party and laughs!
I just want to thank all of my people for an amazing month, and for all of you being such amazing people and blessing my life each and every day!! I love you all!!!
A lot has happened in our lives over the past couple of months. C has graduated from high school, and had his 18th birthday... he is now legally an adult. K is approaching her 16th birthday, and now has a car - she is also the only "non-adult" in our house (which she isn't so sure about). C has rescued a wild bunny, lost the same wild bunny, and J found it again. I still work crazy hours at a job I LOVE, and I am finishing up my last 3 weeks of school. Finishing my degree has not been easy, but it has been worth it! My mom had a mishap on Mother's Day, and we spent a lot of time at the hospital. We have been on our family vacation, and there have been break-ups. I say all of this for everyone to always remember... we are all human! So...I thought I would share a few things about me - that make me who I am.
I make mistakes & my kids make mistakes. I have friends who are gay, lesbian, and straight. I am not perfect and will NEVER claim to be. I have few TRUE friends, and I cherish them dearly. I have new friends that I am growing to love daily. I love my family more every day, and I know I do not always tell them I appreciate them like I should. I am a Jesus lover, and proud of it! I daily work on my relationship with Him, and I know I stumble. I also know He is a forgiving God that loves us! I try really hard not to judge others, although I fail at times. I am loyal to a fault, but when you push me to my limit I have no trouble walking away. I am capable of making my own decisions, mowing my own grass, and fixing my own stuff. Would it be nice to have help...yes, but it is not mandatory. I am a big girl, and I can get it done! I love social media - it has its faults, but it also has allowed me to reconnect with sorority sisters and lifelong friends. It gives my family that lives out of state the ability to watch my kids grow up and vice versa. I am stubborn and hardheaded. If I believe in something I will stand my ground to the end. I will apologize when I'm wrong, and I will also forgive. I will tell people I love them because you never know when someone really just needs to hear it and be reminded. I always support my kids and love them unconditionally - even when I don't agree. I believe that everyone should always have that one person who always has their back, that you can always depend on. I have been divorced for 11 years, and it has not always been easy. I have also had relationships over the past 11 years that have not lasted, all for different reasons. When they ended it was not one person's fault - and I'm okay with that. I started praying several years ago for whoever that person may be that God brings in my life. I have no idea who it will be, or if it will be anyone, But... I do know that God has a plan and His plan is always better and greater than my own.
I say all of this to ask everyone to remember to be kind and respectful. We are all going through things in life that are hard...no one knows about these things or needs to know about them. There are things that happen that no one will ever understand except the people involved. We are all put on this earth for a short time, and we do not know when our time will be up. So, I will choose to be happy, love my people and love my God.
Let me start by saying... this week is kind of a sentimental week for me. It was this week 23 years ago that I became an aunt for the first time AND then 9 hours later I became a mom! It was kind of crazy, but i wouldn't change a thing, When I was pregnant with J, I was 21 years old and scared to death. This was not a planned pregnancy and I was not sure I could ever pull the mom thing off. I mean honestly, who was I to be given the responsibility of raising a child. I honestly doubted everything, I was excited and scared all at the same time. I had been the nanny to 4 amazing little boys, who had an awesome mother and grandmother,..and I remember comparing myself to them. Would I ever be to be that kind of mom to my child? Once the fear subsided, I had the best pregnancy! Honestly... I walked around with a taco and a Tootsie Roll for 9 months straight! When I got pregnant, I weighed a whopping 119 lbs, and after I had him - I weighed 118 lbs. Now let me say.... this did NOT happen with the other 2 kiddos!
As soon as this little (or actually big) bundle of joy was born - I fell in love. Instantly I loved him more than anything. I knew that regardless of anything else, I would be the best mom I could be - from that day forward, my life changed. I had more fun watching this little boy grow. He was always happy, always laughing, and always had my undivided attention. I found out very quickly that if he was going to do something - he was going to go big! There was never a dull moment in my life. As I watched him grow, I watched him embrace the many talents he had. He was not only athletic, he was artistic. He had a HUGE heart, and he was always giving. He would give someone the coat off his back if he thought they needed it (and HE DID)!! He would always fight to win - he was more competitive than any other kid around. When he got in a fight with a lawn mower (and lost) - he never gave up. He went into surgery that night, and I signed consent for amputation of his right hand up to his forearm. He came out, and the first question he asked was, "Do I have my hand?" When I said yes, he asked, "Do I have all my fingers?" I said yes. The accident was June 2 and he was at Camp Nacome with his football team mid-July, and on the field at the start of the season. He was an inspiration to me!
After graduating from high school, we quickly figured out that college wasn't his thing. He worked multiple jobs while saving to live out one of his dreams. He is the free spirit who marches to the beat of his own drum. He lives life to the fullest every day and never takes anything for granted! He is one of my three greatest accomplishments in life. It is so hard to believe that in 4 shorts days he will be 23. I am forever blessed that God chose me to be his mother!
There are always times in your life that you will never forget. It may be your wedding day, the day your children were born, the death of a loved one, or it could be the day you fell in love. For me, I have several dates that I will never forget. The day I got married, the day I got divorced. The day my children were born. The day I realized I could fall in love again, and be happy. There are all kinds of days I remember, but... for me the 24 hour time period that I have relived over and over in my mind is September 16, 2015.
This day started just like any other day. I got up, went to work, and met my "bonus kid" for dinner. I was there the day she was born, had watched her grow up into a beautiful young woman, and after she had some struggles - she moved in with me and the kids. For anyone out there who knows me, I have had various kids over the years live with us. I provide a roof over their head, some ground rules,I love them, they have a chance to get on their feet, and then... they move on. These are the kids that forever live in my heart. But this time... it ended a little different. The sweet little girl that I had watched grow up was a mess (and I'm not being ugly or mean in any way). She was depressed, had anxiety, and just simply needed some love. For months, I watched her work her way through school, and strive to do the right thing. Then... it seems like in the blink of an eye - everything changed. On the night of September 16, 2016, after I got off work, I met her for dinner. We went to Chili's and had dinner. She got ready to go meet friends, I hugged her, told her I loved her, and she left. I went home, and started my normal routine. K got home later that night after church, and went straight to bed. I went to bed around 9:30pm, and when I woke up, my life changed forever.
I woke up at 12:48am to my phone ringing. Now in my house - if my phone rings after 10pm, I assume someone is really hurt, in trouble, or dead. I woke up, answered the phone, and A asked me if she was home. I said, "I'm not sure, let me go look and I will call you back." As I got out of bed, I heard my doorbell ringing. When I rounded the corner from my kitchen to my den, my heart sank. I immediately ran back to my room, and called 911. She was laying on the couch having seizures, and had a mouth full of pills. I had no idea what they were, but I leaned over her and started pulling pills out of her mouth. As I did this, she was kicking & hitting me (and I am forever thankful she does not remember this). The Gallatin Police were the first ones to my house, then the ambulance, then more police - it was complete chaos. As they loaded her into the ambulance, my heart was broken, and I was scared to death. When we got to the ER, they told me if I had been 30 minutes later - it would have been too late. What had happened to make this sweet girl attempt to take her life? What did I miss? Did I not love her and care for her enough? The days and weeks to follow were a blur. The hours, and then days we were in CCU seemed endless. Then we moved her to a treatment facility - which was almost unbearable. Her friend C, was an angel and a complete life saver for me. When she finally came home, we knew we had a long road ahead. We got through October, but then November came. It was a TOUGH month (to put it mildly). I had always heard about "tough love", but I had never really had to put it in motion until that time. She moved out of the house, and life went on. Although, I have not spoken to her since November - there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her, that I don't pray for her, and that I don't miss her.
Now... let's back up for just a bit. Before any of the craziness happened - in August, my kids and I found what is now our church home. I can remember in August thinking, "it's time to get back on board, and get your life straight with God." What I didn't know is he was getting ready to give me one of my biggest tests of all times. In the weeks that followed, I remember distinctly sitting in church on Sunday mornings, listening to Pastor T, and thinking.. "wow, he is speaking directly to me." As I now look back, over the hours, days, and months - I can see God's hand in every bit of it. I am so thankful that He gave me the strength to get through everything, because I know I certainly did NOT do it on my own. I say all of this, not to make anyone sad, but to let everyone know - that you never know what is going on with someone. You never know the struggles and the demons they are facing. So be kind to everyone you meet, stop and say a prayer for your loved ones, hug them tight!
So many times we live our life wondering "what if." What if we don't live out our dreams? What if we don't check those boxes on our bucket list? What if we don't tell our loved ones how much they mean to us? We always have tomorrow...right?? WRONG! We are never guaranteed tomorrow, and it is never promised. We waste so much time not focusing on the things that are important. Then... we have regret! Regret is no fun, and it sucks the life out of you. And honestly... who wants to look back on your life, and have a whole lot of "what if's?"
We get to determine what we do in life, we make our own decisions. No one is responsible for our actions except for us. Tonight, I was scrolling through Facebook and saw where one of my friends had posted a video about "What is your biggest regret?" As I watched the video, it gave me chills. We can make all the mistakes in the world, and have all the regrets possible today, but tomorrow morning - we have a clean slate. Those things are wiped away.
We also serve an awesome God, who forgives us and gives us a clean slate and what an awesome God is He!! 1 John 1:9 says, "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from wickedness." When we admit our sins, we agree with with God that our sin is a sin, and we are willing to turn away from it. Once we repent, we have a clean slate!
So... take a minute, think about your biggest regrets and then wipe them away! Jump out of a plane... tell someone you love them...set your goals to improve YOU! This is a new year with new beginnings, and the sky is the limit. We are never guaranteed tomorrow, so live this life with NO REGRET!!
This morning I am sitting at home looking at the snow falling, and simply thinking about my life. As crazy as my life can be at times, I would not trade it for anything. Here are just a few reasons that I am thankful every day!
I LOVE MY JOB! I may work crazy hours three weeks out of the month, but this week I was reminded once again why I do what I do. I love helping franchise owners, watching them learn, and I truly get back more than I could ever give. They are a special group of people who take risks every day, and help people in their time of need.
I LOVE MY KIDS! I have three kids who I love more than life. They may drive me crazy, they have smart mouths at times, and they think they are funny even when they are not, but I love every minute. I love the loud boys and the giggling girls.
I LOVE MY FRIENDS! I have very few close friends and i wouldn't have it any other way. I know I can always depend on them, and they are always there. If I need to laugh, need to cry, or simply need a dose of reality... they are there!
It has definitely not been the shortest or easiest road to get to where I am, but I know it is all in God's timing and wouldn't change a thing. So... as I am sitting here, enjoying my snow day with my sweet girl. I am very thankful!!
With each new year, there come new resolutions...new hopes, dreams, and the possibility of change. How often do we give up on the resolutions before we ever start? When I look around my home today there are so many opportunities for change. My kids are facing a new year with new challenges. My dad is here visiting and has ongoing health issues. Heck... I know I certainly have issues of my own and that there are things in my life that I definitely need to change. I know life will never be perfect, but...I know I can always work on improving my life and providing a better life for me and my kids. We cannot control every part of our lives, but we can seek God's advice on how Christians should act, and what we should do. Maybe... just maybe...if we seek His will first, things will fall into place - just as they should be.
There are many resolutions I could come up with... lose weight (I always need to do that), keep my house clean (I have lots of teenagers all the time, so why bother?), or be more active (my activity consists of shuttling 15 year olds from place to place). Instead of torturing myself with never accomplishing that size 4 body from 20 years ago... I have decided to choose a passage from Colossians and work on it all year long. In Colossians 3: 12 - 15 it says, "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live peace. And always be thankful. "
What kind of world would we live in if we all focused on tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness,and love? How much richer would we be at the end of the year if we had more of these? What if we took the time to realize just how blessed we are? So...in 2016, I will focus on living and focusing on Colossians 3: 12-15, and counting my blessings. We will fill up our "blessing jar", and on December 31, 2016 will look back and realize just how blessed we are!
Over the last few weeks, as people have found out that C has enlisted in the Army and was sworn in - there have been lots of questions from friends and loved ones. These questions have been asked a million times, "Are you okay with this?" and "Are you scared?" The answer to both of these questions is YES! Yes, I am okay with the decision he has made to defend our country and protect our freedom. Yes, as a mom I am scared. And honestly - what mom wouldn't be? Along with me being scared - I am also absolutely, 100%, completely proud of his decision!
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