A date to remember...

There are always times in your life that you will never forget.  It may be your wedding day, the day your children were born, the death of a loved one, or it could be the day you fell in love. For me, I have several dates that I will never forget.  The day I got married, the day I got divorced.  The day my children were born. The day I realized I could fall in love again, and be happy.  There are all kinds of days I remember, but... for me the 24 hour time period that I have relived over and over in my mind is September 16, 2015.  

This day started just like any other day.  I got up, went to work, and met my "bonus kid" for dinner.  I was there the day she was born, had watched her grow up into a beautiful young woman, and after she had some struggles - she moved in with me and the kids.  For anyone out there who knows me, I have had various kids over the years live with us.  I provide a roof over their head, some ground rules,I love them, they have a chance to get on their feet, and then... they move on.  These are the kids that forever live in my heart.  But this time... it ended a little different.  The sweet little girl that I had watched grow up was a mess (and I'm not being ugly or mean in any way). She was depressed, had anxiety, and just simply needed some love.  For months, I watched her work her way through school, and strive to do the right thing.  Then... it seems like in the blink of an eye - everything changed. On the night of September 16, 2016, after I got off work, I met her for dinner.  We went to Chili's and had dinner.  She got ready to go meet friends, I hugged her, told her I loved her, and she left.  I went home, and started my normal routine.  K got home later that night after church, and went straight to bed.  I went to bed around 9:30pm, and when I woke up, my life changed forever.

I woke up at 12:48am to my phone ringing.  Now in my house - if my phone rings after 10pm, I assume someone is really hurt, in trouble, or dead.  I woke up, answered the phone, and A asked me if she was home.  I said, "I'm not sure, let me go look and I will call you back." As I got out of bed, I heard my doorbell ringing.  When I rounded the corner from my kitchen to my den, my heart sank. I immediately ran back to my room, and called 911.  She was laying on the couch having seizures, and had a mouth full of pills.  I had no idea what they were, but I leaned over her and started pulling pills out of her mouth.  As I did this, she was kicking & hitting me (and I am forever thankful she does not remember this).  The Gallatin Police were the first ones to my  house, then the ambulance, then more police  - it was complete chaos.  As they loaded her into the ambulance, my heart was broken, and I was scared to death. When we got to the ER, they told me if I had been 30 minutes later - it would have been too late. What had happened to make this sweet girl attempt to take her life? What did I miss? Did I not love her and care for her enough?  The days and weeks to follow were a blur.  The hours, and then days we were in CCU seemed endless.  Then we moved her to a treatment facility - which was almost unbearable. Her friend C, was an angel and a complete life saver for me.  When she finally came home, we knew we had a long road ahead.  We got through October, but then November came.  It was a TOUGH month (to put it mildly). I had always heard about "tough love", but I had never really had to put it in motion until that time. She moved out of the house, and life went on.  Although, I have not spoken to her since November - there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her, that I don't pray for her, and that I don't miss her.  

Now... let's back up for just a bit.  Before any of the craziness happened - in August, my kids and I found what is now our church home. I can remember in August thinking, "it's time to get back on board, and get your life straight with God." What I didn't know is he was getting ready to give me one of my biggest tests of all times.  In the weeks that followed, I remember distinctly sitting in church on Sunday mornings, listening to Pastor T, and thinking.. "wow, he is speaking directly to me."  As I now look back, over the hours, days, and months - I can see God's hand in every bit of it.  I am so thankful that He gave me the strength to get through everything, because I know I certainly did NOT do it on my own.  I say all of this, not to make anyone sad, but to let everyone know - that you never know what is going on with someone.  You never know the struggles and the demons they are facing.  So be kind to everyone you meet, stop and say a prayer for your loved ones, hug them tight!