Saturday, September 28, 2013

So, it seems I always say I will get better at writing on a regular basis - but something always seems to come up and I am unable to.  Actually, things don't come up - life gets in the way.  You see, about a year ago my life completely changed.  I reconnected with a high school friend, we started talking, then going to dinner, then before you knew it we were in love and all was right with the world.  We made it through months of being apart, then decided we would put a plan in place.   It's funny - the best laid plans are the ones that sometimes don't work out.   We have different personalities, we like different things, we balanced each other out.  He was the yin to my yang.  We were happy!  Happy to the point where I was sure this was "it".  Then, life happens.   People who are not in our lives started giving opinions.  People who don't have a say so, interjected where they had no right.  Unfortunately, there opinions can get under our skin.  Make us question, put doubt in your minds.  As soon as doubt enters in  - it becomes a giant.  Fast forward, he is gone & I feel empty.  I want to be happy!  I want the can't live without me kind of love!  You know - the kind where you can't function without the other person entering your mind. As I have examined every aspect of this relationship in the last few days - I know I made a lot of mistakes, and for that I am sorry.  As a person, you have to accept that the other person brings their past into relationships and unfortunately those things determine how you react to certain things.  However, I also know that no one is perfect & a relationship not working goes both ways.  I know that I allowed myself to do something that I promised I would never do.  I know that God was not the center of this relationship, and without Him it will not work.  I have learned lessons, and I will take all those things into account in the future.

I am in a good place in my life.  I have a job I love, a fabulous family, the best friends a girl could ask for who are there when they are truly needed and I have three AMAZING kids!