Family...

As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself thinking about family and the importance of them in our lives.  I know I have been blessed with wonderful parents who I love dearly, a step-father that I could not imagine my life without, a brother and sister who I love (but don't tell them often enough), a brother-in-law who has been around so long I can't remember many times without him, a sister-in-law who has made my brother happier than he has ever been, and I have the most incredible six nieces and nephews who are talented, smart, funny, kind hearted, loving and full of mischief who I absolutely adore.  I also have three AMAZING kids, who complete my life and make my world what it is today.

I woke up this morning, and walked around my house while the kids were asleep, the dogs were asleep and for just a brief moment - everything was quiet.  I sat and enjoyed those few minutes... enjoying the first Saturday morning in years that all three of my kids were home.  As they woke up one at a time... the quiet was over, and the games began.  The first conversation went like this.. K said, "I want a hug.", J then says, "No - you just woke up and have morning breath."  Then... she gets a big bear hug from her big brother and all is right with the world. I just sat and giggled!  When I look at each of my kids, and their different personalities - they simply make me smile.

A few minutes later, the next conversation went like this.  K was asking if we could go dress shopping today for the middle school winter formal.  I told her we would wait and see how the day goes.  C speaks up and says, "Do you know what I wore to the formal in the 8th grade? A t-shirt and jeans."  K with her sassy comeback says..."And how many girls did you dance with?  ZERO!"  Again - hysterical laughter!

In addition to the family we are born with, we have the family we choose.  We have those friends who have shared our lives, they have been there for all the ups, down, highs, lows, good times, bad times... and all the craziness in between.  They are the ones who we can look at, and with no words they know exactly what we are thinking.    They are the ones who love our kids as much as we do, who celebrate with us during the good times and are there to support us during the hard times.  They are the ones that we had the blessing of choosing to be our family!

This week for us has been full of answered prayers and blessings.  It has been a week full of emotion and thankfulness.  It has been a week of knowing that no matter what happens, He is in control.  And if we just simply, pray, listen and wait for His will to be done - things will happen the way they are supposed to.  As I look at my three blessings this morning, I could not be any more proud of them.  You see, they all have their own personalities, they are all truly unique, and - God chose to give them to me. For that... I could not be more thankful!

"The most important thing in life is family.

There are days you love them, and others you don't.

But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to.

Sometimes it's the family you're born into and 

sometimes it's the one you make for yourself." 

~Carrie Bradshaw~

The tough stuff...

Have you ever had those times in your life when things have happened and you really do not understand why?   You look, and you keep asking yourself - "Why has God allowed this to happen?"  This has been an eye opening year for me, on many different levels.  Although there are lots of little things that happen, there are a couple of doozies I simply cannot wrap my head around.  We all have things happen in life, and after reflecting on them - we know we could have handled the situation differently (or at least this happens to me). You live your life to the best of your ability, trying to always do the right thing - you try to raise your kids with roots AND wings.  So... what happens when the everything hits the fan?  What happens when your kids disappoint you?  Or when the ones you love let you down?  What happens when you look at your kids, and you wonder, "where is my little angel I raised?'  What happens when a child turns away from your family and as parents you are heartbroken?  I think as we raise our children, we give it our best effort.  We guide them and teach them how to make the best choices.  We teach them they must take responsibility for their actions. Unfortunately, just because we teach these things - doesn't mean our children listen.  It doesn't mean they will do exactly as they were taught.  There is always a possibility, they will let the world lead them and they can turn away from their family.

What the children (whether they are 12 or 20), do not understand is that the decisions they make do not only affect them.  They affect their family as a whole.  This process began as making a decision not to talk to your family for a week.  Unfortunately, weeks turn into months, and before you know it a whole year has gone by. The children also tend to forget as they are acting out, that all it would take is a simple, "I'm sorry and I love you" to begin the healing process and wipe the slate clean.  As a parent, in these circumstances, I think it is important to remember the story of the prodigal son.  Jesus told the parable, reminding us to never give up on anyone who goes a stray.  What happens if your child comes back, do you tell them "I told you so", or do you open your arms wide and rejoice they are home?   What do you do until this day comes?  You pray for your child.  You pray for their heart to be softened, and you pray for the strength of the loved ones at home who are waiting.  I think as parents we all need to remember, our children bring us happiness and they also bring us grief, and in both of those things come tears.

When things happen, and I simply think I can't take anymore - I go to my all time favorite Bible verse. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face.  All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it."

 For me, this year - I will be praying a lot more for my sweet friend and her family who haven't heard from their child in almost a year, the holidays will definitely be different.  I will be praying for the child to be brave enough to make the phone call, and make amends with parents. I will also be praying for my kids, as they don't understand why any of this has happened.  As the holidays are approaching, I would urge everyone to tell everyone how much you love them, and hold your loved ones a little tighter.  You never know, when the course of your life will be altered.

Letting go...

As I sit in my kitchen (my happy place) and do my Saturday morning thing, there are lots of thoughts running through my head.  How many of us spend so much time regretting or being angry towards things in the past that we ruin our future?   It could be a friendship, a relationship or issues with family members.  Many times we are so busy being angry, so busy holding a grudge and proving a point, that we forget what we were even angry about to begin with.  We are so busy looking at the past and fuming over it - that we can't enjoy what we are given today. As I was growing up, I was always taught to forgive - taught to love my enemy.  Although, those things sound simple - they are not. How often do we think about forgiving ourselves?  In order to forgive yourself or someone else, you have to let go of anger - and we all know that sometimes that is not an easy thing to do.   Do we hold on to the anger of the past because we don't like change ~ we want everything to stay the same?  Possibly.

I am a person who does NOT like change.  I don't like traditions to be broken, I don't even like the menu to change for Christmas dinner.  I absolutely hate change.  But...in the last eight years I have had more change than I ever wanted.   Looking back now ~ I know I held on to some things longer than I should have out of anger, or maybe even out of spite.  I know I haven't given every opportunity that presented itself, the dedication it needed, because I was trying to make sure that I didn't get hurt again.   I also know, other things I held onto longer than I should have because I simply do NOT like change.

Colossians 3:13 - 15 says, "bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you must also do. But, above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful."

We all make mistakes, and we all hurt others... even when it was not our intention.  It's funny, the more you love someone - the more you tend to hurt them.  When you know someone inside and out, you know how to push their buttons.  You know what makes them happy, what makes them sad... you know them as well as you know yourself.  So, not only does it make it easy to make them happy - it makes it easy to hurt them. And... for some crazy reason, it makes it hard to forgive them.   The key to a happy heart, is forgiveness! In order to forgive, we need to open our heart to God, and let Him work through us.

So, with all of this being said...  go mend some broken bridges, go give an unsuspecting person a hug.  You will be amazed at how great you feel when you simply let go!

Happy Saturday y'all!

Two are better than one...

Sometimes you meet a person in life, and you know that no matter what happens, you will always be friends with them.  From the very beginning, you have no doubt that this will be a treasured friendship.   You know that you can go days, months, even years without talking and pick right back up where you left off - that is what friendship is!  You can share births, deaths, marriages, divorces and any life event and you know that person will always be by your side.  Those are the friendships that you LOVE to have - those are the ones that make your life complete.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 it says, " Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.  But woe to him who is alone when he fails, for he has no one to help him up."

So... what happens when there is a falling out?   What happens when there is an argument?  Unfortunately, we are all human, and we all have emotions and feelings that can get in the way of even the best intentions.  I say these things, because I know they are true from personal experiences.   I had the same best friend for years, she was not my only friend, but... she was the one who understood me completely!  We were  two peas in a pod, two crazies that were perfect together.  Then...life happened.   One week, turned into one month - one month turned into one year - one year turned into two, then three.   There was not a day that went by that I did not think of her, and her sweet family.   I was completely lost.. when you have been through so much with friends - they become family.  So... yes, you could say I was grieving the loss of my family.

Then, after literally years of not speaking - you have that moment where your heart is beating out of your chest, because of the fear of the unknown, you decide to make contact. You extend the olive branch.  As soon as you know everything will be fine - you have a sense of relief, you know that all is well with the world, and if you're me... you burst into tears (because that's what I do).  

Everyone is going to have broken bridges, and relationships you need to mend.  I would encourage everyone not to let a day go by without telling the ones you love how you feel -you never know when God may decide that He wants them back.  I can tell you, that I will never let years go by again, before I let someone know how much they mean to me and how much I love them!