Over the holidays, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on this year and looking forward to next year. On one hand, 2015 has been a year of heartache and sadness and on the other hand, it has been one of great joy. I have watched my kids grow into amazing adults, spread their wings, and chase their dreams. I have watched them prepare for the next chapter in their lives, and I have watched them struggle to make decisions and find their way. This has been a year full of not understanding why things happens, learning from mistakes, and realizing that sometimes tough love is needed.
The most life changing event happened on September 17 when we had a suicide attempt take place in our home. The night and days following are some I will never forget. I have constantly looked back over the last several months and tried to figure out what I missed. How could I not see what she was thinking, feeling, and planning. I know that I could have never prevented what happened, but... there will always be the what if questions. As I relive many of these events over and over in my head, I know I cannot live in the past. I know I cannot change the events of that night, and I am extremely thankful for the phone call and the door bell ringing that night. The phone call and door bell ringing, saved someone's life. As difficult as those days were, I can truly look back and see where God's hand was in all of the craziness.
Isaiah 43:18 says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." A new year brings new opportunities and new adventures. We all need to remember that God has a plan for our life, and those plans are not in the past - they are in the future. So often, we tend to pray but forget to wait for the answer. Or... we get the answer and do not like it, so we try to live without God's will being followed. We do not need to dwell on the past, but look forward. More importantly as I move into 2016, I need to remember the end prize, and that is eternal life with God our Savior. I should be striving daily to live my life in a way that brings glory to Him.
So, as 2016 approaches hug your loved ones, tell them you love them, live life to the fullest, and LIVE every single day! Try to be a better mother, daughter,sister, brother or whatever you may be. Forgive quickly and laugh often! And more than anything... find happiness within you!
13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ~ Philippians 3: 13-14 (NLT)
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